Thomas Sanders Sides OneShots 4

The loss of a friend, the gain of another - Virgil x Roman

3:30pm

It's just another part of the human race

Trigger warning: attempted suicide, mentions of death

Au
—

Virgil sats rigid on top of the cliff, legs tucked under his body, eyes gazing down at the sloshing water below. It crashed against the side of the cliff, sharp, jagged rocks protruding upwards through it, ready to catch anyone who fell. Virgil felt his body sway back when a strong gust of wind hit against him, whipping his bangs from his face, but he didn't budge, he wanted this, he told himself, over and over like a mantra. He needed this. For happiness. For Patton.

The mere thought of his name brought in a whole boat of emotions Virgil didn't want to deal with. A few months ago, Patton lost his life due to a reckless driver. Virgil held his hand tightly in that hospital bed, there for his last living moments. Once Patton left, he was alone, sourly alone. He should have listened to Patton, he should've made other friends than just him, but he couldn't, he never imagined Patton would be taken away from him so soon, he thought he could live his life with just Patton - that he didn't need anyone else.

How wrong he was. Even when Patton was dead, he was still right. He was Virgil's best friends, and in some ways a dad he never had, always there for him when he needed it, disregarding his plans, dates, himself whenever Virgil was in trouble and he needed his friends support. For three months Virgil was silent - he didn't speak, he spent his days doing his work online, and crying when he felt too tired to do anything else. Barely staying alive himself, he somehow managed to stay this long, but now he couldn't do it, the guilt, the grief, the raw pain was too much, and all Virgil wanted to do was rest. Couldn't he have that?

Shifting closer to the edge, he clenched his eyes shut and gripped the railing to the metal fence cutting him away from the drop. He could see Patton's smile in his head, so blinding, so warm, Patton didn't deserve to die, he had so much ahead of him, he could've helped so many people, but that one night, that one fucking driver ruined it all, ruined Virgil's life, and destroyed Patton's.

Virgil breathed out and slowly opened his eyes, ready to climb through the fence when he felt to arms wrap around him. He tensed, gasping silently. The arms seemed to...fade, not visibly, but he felt them, then they were gone, but then came back. He couldn't see them, either, but he wasn't going crazy, they were there, and when a head buried into his back, arms holding him tighter, he knew who it was.

"Patton.." his voice croaked, and he slumped into the hold he couldn't grip back, crying hollowly into the wind blowing heavily against him. Sobs scratched up his throat, echoing across the land around him, filling the air that seemingly tried to push him away as much as Patton was.

"Please don't go" he begged, "d-don't leave me" He cried harrowingly, his heart shattering to pieces. He knew however much he begged, Patton couldn't stay, even if that was all he wanted, he had to go.

He felt Patton's head move from his back and land on his shoulder, he controlled his sobs enough, and fell to silence, desperately trying to hear whatever he was saying.

"Live for me, Virgil" it was such a silent whisper, Virgil wondered how he heard it.

"I-I can't-"

"Live for me" Patton cut him off, squeezing him harder.

"Not without y-you-"

"Live"

When Virgil felt his hold slipping, he clawed and turned around yelling and screaming for him to come back. When he saw a figure rushing over, he wondered for a fleeting moment if it was Patton, but his face came into view, and he only sobbed harder when he realised it wasn't. He could feel someone pick him up, but he didn't care, he felt like he had no control over anything, only if he were to speak, but he didn't, he allowed his sobs to take over, through the drive the stranger took him on, and through most of the night spent on the strangers couch, tissue after tissue collecting the mucus produced in his nose.

Eventually, he found himself passing out from exhaustion.

The next morning, he didn't feel better, all he could do was imagine Patton's hold around him, securely and lovingly, just as it's always been. The stranger introduced himself as Roman, but Virgil didn't care, he silently allowed Roman to drive him home after reluctantly giving him his address. In his apartment, he moped around for days again, much like what he had gone through for three months. He wondered if it would take another three months before he could try take his life again, but the first time Roman showed up with a bundle of flowers, everything changed.

The man came over more and more, a few times a week, at least, his reasoning? He wanted Virgil to be safe, to be okay, and to never find him on that cliff again. Virgil was still hurting, still in pain, he thought he could go through it alone, and be fine, he pushed Roman away so many times he wondered why he kept returning, but when he finally took a step back and realised Roman kept coming back, he understood he wasn't alone, and this stupidly attractive man cared.

That settled weirdly inside of him - he only ever had Patton care for him, the idea that anyone else would want to do the same baffled him, but Roman showed up, every week on different days to the last, until Virgil got excited for his visits, the two even spending time outside of the apartments - Virgil didn't want to admit he thought of them as dates.

Virgil thought he was just dead weight, and his repeated depressive episodes would drive Roman away, but he didn't, nothing did, and two years later, he was still returning, beaming happily, hugging Virgil as greeting and parting. Virgil would never understand why Roman cared for him, but when they shared their first kiss in front of the sunrise, he understood why he always secretly wanted Roman to come back.

Their one year anniversary was spent in the graveyard. Roman and Virgil kneeled on Patton's grave. Roman didn't care it wasn't necessarily romantic, this was the biggest form of trust he had ever received from Virgil, and he couldn't be more honoured to be allowed to join Virgil in this.

And while Virgil was wiping away his tears, and murmuring softly to Patton, he felt something brush his arm and hold it there for a moment.

Protect him for me

And protect him Roman did.

—

3:58pm