Thomas Sanders Sides OneShots 4

I'm not your friend - Patton & Felix

9:41pm

Trigger warning: self hate, degrading, personal demons, mentions of past death, abusive parent, suicidal thoughts, depression

This one's gonna be differeeeeeennnntttttt

Au
—

Patton stirred from his sleep, blinking open his eyes and rolling onto his back. He was surrounded by darkness, and he couldn't hear a sound. He was confused for a moment, until he remembered what this meant. He smiled and sat up, tucking his legs under his body and waiting for that all familiar voice.

"...are you seriously smiling right now"

"Yep!" Patton giggled, his smile forming into a toothy grin. The voice sighed, it echoing around the darkness Patton was plunged into. "How? Why? You're worthless. How can you be happy?" Patton shrugged and began fiddling with the bracelet on his wrist. "Because I get to talk to you" he responded innocently, eyes trailing around the place he sat in, but he knew he would never be given light, he wasn't allowed to see when he was here.

The voice was silent for awhile. "You're pathetic. Everyone in school is right - you really are an idiot"

"Oh, Felix" Patton mused, "haven't you ever heard the saying 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all'?" He cocked his head as he spoke, staring down at his hands. That was the only thing he could see, himself - it was like he was floating in space, but sitting on a hard floor. "Haven't you ever heard the saying 'kill yourself'?"

Patton's smile never faltered, never drooped, only grew. "If I did, I wouldn't get to see you again"

"You've never seen me before, you—...idiot"

"But I've heard you!" Patton exclaimed with a giggle, "and I think that's enough. You'd miss me too, right?" The voice let out a bellow or a mocking laugh, but it didn't phase Patton, not even a slight. "Miss you!?" They said in disbelief, "I would throw a party in celebration" Patton shrugged and laid back down against the dark floor, curling up a bit as he closed his eyes.

"I would miss you, Felix"

"Stop calling me Felix"

Patton giggled, "goodnight, Fe"

The voice didn't respond. And that was how Patton's dreams went. It only happened once every two weeks, but every time it did, Patton was elated. For a few short minutes, he could talk to his friend. He knows how Felix treats him isn't exactly 'friend worthy' but it's all he has. In school people would rather ignore him and let him be bullied then allow him to join their friendship group. Besides, he's a new-ish student (three months) due to his father moving to a completely new state, desperately wanting to get away from his past. Their past.

The death of their wife and mother.

What Patton's father seems to forget, though, is Patton lost someone on that day, too, and usually wallows in self pity than being there for his child. Patton's old enough, he can do things for himself, but since the abuse started, it only became worse. It started physical, his dad would get drunk and shout names, words of abuse, Patton learned to ignore it - when he realised this, he moved onto physical abuse, but every time he would collapse to the ground in a heap and sob and sob and sob. Patton would clean himself up and drag his father to bed where he would mumble a few more words of insult before passing out.

He never apologised, just left Patton breakfast before leaving for work the next morning.

Patton felt alone; for so long, he was alone. Until Felix came. It happened on his fifteenth birthday, when they still lived in their old state. After a night of degrading, Patton rocked himself to sleep, bawling his eyes out. When he woke next, he wasn't in his bed, he was in a room shrouded with darkness. He was scared, terrified, curling up into a ball and wildly searching around the room until he heard a voice. A deep voice that seemed to come from all directions.