13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Waking up

You could hear an annoying beeping noise. It didn't stop. You didn't know where you were. Your arms hurt, badly. Your head was pounding. Your throat was dry.

Over the beeping you could hear quiet sounds that sounded like soft sobbing. And a light pressure on your stomach. Someone was holding your hand too. You could feel gentle and soft fingers caressing it.

You swallowed slightly, groaning softly as you tried to open your heavy eyes. The soft fingers stopped moving and the sobbing stopped, you heard a small gasp. You slowly fluttered your eyes open, barely able to. With every blink though, you saw a bright light which made you groan again at the brightness.

You heard a chair being pushed back as the weight on your stomach lifted. The hand that was in yours slipped out and you felt them resting on both your cheeks in your face. You blinked a few times, finally managing to open your eyes and looking right into mesmerising blue eyes looking right back at you.

You noticed how they were red and how tears had trickled down rosey cheeks. You furrowed your brows, looking at Missy. Your heart hurt slightly when seeing her tears. You tried to lift up your arm to wipe away her tears but only winced when you realised just how much your arms hurt.

You barely had time to process everything before you were being attacked with kisses all over your face, on your cheeks, forehead, nose. You closed your eyes, feeling her lips over your face. Until she stopped right above your lips.

You could feel her breath fan over your face, your lips so close they were almost touching. You could feel her inching closer.

Stupidly enough though, you were completely clueless. You were so focused on the tears you could feel as her cheek brushed past yours. You could feel your heart hurting slightly as you thought about her being so upset. You hated seeing her like that.

"Were you crying?" You asked just as her lips were about to push up against yours.

She froze, and you felt her tense up as you spoke. You wondered if you did something wrong as she pulled back, her hands still on either cheek. She looked deeply in your (e/c) eyes as you looked into her heart ones. You lifted up your arm, wincing slightly as you did so, feeling the pain in your arms.

You ignored the pain and placed your hands on her cheeks, wiping away the dried and the newly fallen tears. She closed her eyes, moving her hands from your own cheeks so she was holding your wrists, leaning into your touch.

"Of course I'm crying" she whispered, letting out a shard sob "why would you do that?!"

You froze on the spot, remembering everything. You watched as she opened her crystal blue eyes, watering slightly as she watched you. You swallowed, pulling your hands back. Missy kept ahold of your wrists as you lay your arms back down on your stomach.

"Why did you save me?" You whispered, turning your head away so you didn't have to look at her, feeling a lump form in your throat "I...I didn't want to be saved. Why would you bother, I should be gone by now.."

Missy shifted down she was holding your hands. She sighed shakily, burying her face in your neck.

"I can't j..just let you go. I care too much. W..when I saw you there...in your bathroom..o..on the floor..I just...I was so scared" she held your hands tightly, as if to make sure you wouldn't disappear "there was so much blood..." she whispered "I can't even begin to think of my life without you in it, I'm sorry okay...but I couldn't just let you die..."

She sobbed softly against your neck and you could feel her tears against your skin. You didn't want her to cry. You'd seen too many tears from her already. But you didn't understand. What exactly made you so important? She was being so distant to you the past weeks. You didn't care about your life so why did she?

"You don't need me...there's no point anymore.." you said quietly, starting to feel the hurt again.

Missy shook her head against your neck, pulling up so she was looking at your eyes. She placed a hand on your cheek, holding your hand with the other.

"You don't understand how much you mean to me. How precious you are. (Y/n)..the whole universe would seem empty and cold to me without you in it. None of the universe, no star being born, no new planet, new people, no plants and new civilisations, no picturesque supernova or spectacular aurora..." she looked directly into your eyes, stroking your cheek lightly as she spoke with such passion in her voice "none of it would ever make up...for losing you."

You stared at her, feeling your emotions stir within you. You didn't know how to feel. Especially after what Missy had just said. You didn't understand why she was acting so warm towards you now. You knew for sure that you weren't one hundred percent happy about being saved and being alive. You did what you did for a reason. But the way Missy describes you...it made you feel something different.

Your heart was beating a little faster, but not for a bad reason. Your chest was lifting and butterflies were taking flight in your stomach. Your cheeks were all warm and red. You felt so many things at once and you didn't know how to express them. Your throat was all closed up and you couldn't find your voice. You only stared at Missy in astonishment, wondering if your life is really that bad.

"Every beautiful thing I'd ever see would never look the same to me again if you were gone" Missy spoke up again, looking at you with loving her such sad eyes "because they would all remind me of you"

You felt your lip tremble as you heard her say that. No one would ever understand how much you've wanted her to be close to you again. How much you wanted her to just speak to you again. You hadn't even seen her for god knows how long.

"But I..I was a..alone.." you whispered, your voice wobbling.

She immediately sat down on your bed, hugging you tightly, her arms wrapped around you and her warmth. You couldn't contain the sobs that erupted from your throat as you closed your eyes, burying your face in her chest. You missed her so much. You just wanted a hug from her from so long. Just a hug.

"I'm here love, shh" Missy's soothing voice spoke "I'm here"

Your sobs quietened down after a while, but you refused to let go of her. You both just held onto each other. You took in a deep breath, your nose being filled with Missy's scent of vanilla, calming and relaxing your muscles.

"You're awake!" You nearly jumped out of your skin at hearing the doctors voice.

Both you and Missy pulled away, leaving you feeling slightly cold. The doctor was standing there, looking at you with wide eyes. She came to your side quickly, checking your over, looking at the screens before using her stethoscope to listen to your lungs and heart.

Missy sat next to you, holding your hand which you realised was bandaged up as well as your arms. The doctor sat you up, listing the bed as she brought a glass of water to you. You gulped it down, feeling slightly ill but managing to get it down as it helped your dry throat.

You looked over at Missy, a question playing on your mind. One which made you do this in the beginning.

"Why did you leave then?"