13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Screams

Warning: brief sensitive and upsetting themes at the end

You finally pulled away from Missy's lips, your insides going crazy and your heart beating a million miles per hour in excitement. You couldn't believe it. Missy kissed you! And you kissed Missy! You had been dreaming about this moment for years..literally. And although you had hoped it would have been at a better time than this with you breaking down, you couldn't help but feel this was perfect.

"I love you" you whispered with a smile "god you have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you that"

"Same here" she whispered back, making you smile further.

She felt the same way. All this time. She felt the same...you just wished you had told her sooner. This kiss..this moment..this feeling inside you of such love and happiness...it was way overdue.

"Why did you leave?" You whispered in a voice you were sure only she could have heard, feeling all the sadness in you start to bubble up again and make its way up your throat, clogging it up.

She pulled away, looking at you with a sad look. You shook your head, looking down, noticing that you had calmed down a lot more. You also noticed that you could still let Missy make contact. You couldn't help but smile a little. You hadn't touched anyone in so long. You were surprised you could still allow Missy to. There must have been something about her. There was always something about her.

But that didn't change the fact that she left you. That the doctor left you. That they all left you. The way the doctor made you get out of the TARDIS...she lied to you.

You slowly stood up, staring at the doctor with a broken look on your face. You trusted her...and she used that against you.

"Well I don't know about anyone else but I've been waiting fucking forever for you guys to kiss" Yaz laughed.

You couldn't help but clench you're jaw. Not at the comment Yas just made. In fact, everything she said just went straight over your head. All you could think about was how the doctor betrayed you. How she left you..for two whole years. And she didn't even come back until she had to. Well at least it was nice to know she didn't want you dead.

"I don't think this is the right time Yas" Graham whispered.

You knew they had all heard you on the phone. They all knew what you were about to do. You would have been happy to have died. To have just jumped. Well...would have been. That was before the whole Missy kissing you and confessing her love for you thing. Which by the way, you were still crazy about. On any other occasion you would have celebrated with Yas. But right now, all you could think about was your anger and betrayal towards the doctor.

"You tricked me" you whispered, staring at the doctor, a lump growing into your throat.

"(Y/n), listen to me" the doctor said, trying to calm you down.

You shook your head immediately "I will never listen to you again" you whispered in a broken tone, feeling your hurt only get worse "I trusted you..."

"It was dangerous. That place, the daleks.." the doctor tried to speak to you.

"So what you just took me home!" You shouted "after everything I've been through?! After every time you told me that I had a choice?!" Your voice broke and cracked when you shouted, and a few sobs started to rip through.

"It was dangerous! You could have died at that place do you understand! I was keeping you safe!" The doctor exclaimed.

"Safe!" You shouted "that's what you said last time and I ended up on the streets doctor!" You shouted "and that was in two weeks...imagine what's happened in two years.."

The doctor stared at you with a sad look "what happened?" She asked quietly "how could you want to do that?"

"No doctor! How could you leave me!" You shouted "for two years!"

"(Y/n)..." Missy spoke up.

"No! Stay out of this Missy, I need to know why she decided to leave me after everything!" You exclaimed "you tricked me..you lied to me!"

"It's my fault" she said quietly.

"No it's not! The doctor left me Missy! None of you have any idea what I've been through! What I've lost!" You were practically screaming at this point, glaring at the doctor with daggers.

"It was my fault!" Missy shouted "I told her to do it. I told her to take you home!" She exclaimed.

You stopped at that, furrowing your brows before turning to look at her. You stared at her in questioning and betrayal, before stepping away from her, shaking your head in denial.

She couldn't have been the one to have sent you home! She just..she couldn't have. She loved you..that's what she said. She would never put you through what you went though.

"We made a deal" Missy told you "that if you're ever in too much trouble. If you're in so much danger that I could lose you..that you'd be taken home. Safe and sound, well away from danger. Before it's all over and we bring you back!"

"I don't understand.." you whispered.

"I loved you too much to lose you.." she told you quietly "it was only supposed to be for a few minutes. Not..two years.."

"I'm twenty seven!" You shouted "how long has it been for you all?!"

"Barely half an hour...we only just sorted everything out with the daleks.." the doctor replied.

You shook your head, running your hand through your hair. This was so much worse than you thought.

"I'm sorry" Missy said quietly "I was just trying to keep you safe.."

"I'm never safe at home!" You screamed in nothing but pure anger "anything that would have happened at bay place with the daleks..which as always I took the long way round..would have not even come close to what happened to me on earth!"

"What happened?" Ryan asked quietly, looking worried.

You shook your head at that, placing your hands on your forehead.

"(Y/n), what happened that you felt the need to..to do that?! To jump?" The doctor asked.

"I lost a child!"