13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Loss

"See, even you sound surprised yourself doctor" Missy laughed, and right at that the doctor stopped moving about and grinned.

"No I'm not surprised. I always knew I'd get us here. You guys were the ones who doubted me" the doctor smiled in response, crossing her arms with a smile on her face.

"Well I'm definitely surprised" Missy shrugged, making you laugh lightly.

"I'm surprised too" you said, easing a hand, earning a pout from the doctor.

"Such little faith in me" she tutted with a sigh, shaking her head.

"I have faith in you" Yas smiled, intertwining their hands "I knew you'd be able to get us here. Also, can someone explain where we are? It looks like the middle of a field" she said, looking around.

The doctor smiled a little before also looking around. You raised a brow when looking over at one of those weird looking mountains close by. Actually, there were quite a few of those around here.

"I don't know but it's kinda cold" you said.

"Is that a glacier?" Ryan asked, pointing at the white ice sheet all over those mountains.

"Yes it is Ryan." The doctor smiled before looking around and narrowing her eyes, placing a finger in her mouth before lifting it up into the air "follow me!" She smiled, walking over in some random direction.

You didn't really argue with her and just followed her. As you got closer to those glaciers you got a better view of it, raising your brows and smiling. You had never seen something so cool looking before. The whole place was just covered in layers and layers of ice up there. You wondered what it would be like to hike upon one of those.

"I've never seen a glacier before" you whispered with a smile, looking up at the view in awe.

"Never?" Missy asked, raising a brow at you "how much travelling did you do on your own planet? There's some incredible things you can find right at your home planet. Like the northern lights. Ah...speaking of which...." she trailed off a little at that, almost suddenly, making you look over at her with a expectant look, wanting her to continue.

"Yeah?" You asked with a small smile.

"Nothing" she shook her head, before looking over at you, wrapping her arm around you and hugging you.

"Okay..." you said back before shrugging "well I haven't travelled a lot. When dad was around...we never really had time to do anything. He wasn't exactly father material. Not like someone to take us on holidays or anything" you sighed "and once he left...well our whole income was gone for a while. We didn't know what to do. We could barely get by day by day" you frowned at that thought, remembering it all "we went to France once though. To pairs. It's where I got that hat from that I show you. Where I saw her that one more time when the doctor took us back in time. I ran into my mother again...." you smiled sadly, and longingly, "you have no idea what I'd give just to have a moment like that again. To be with my family...my mum..or my little sister."

Missy squeezed you a little at that, making you sigh sadly and lean into her. You had lost a lot. It was really starting to hurt you. You thought grief would go away. But it came in waves. And every time you thought the last wave had passed another would come tumbling over you and drowning you until you couldn't breathe. It hurt...even to this day.

You could remember that car crash like it was yesterday. While your mother died on impact...your little sister didn't. When you woke up from the impact the first thing you heard and noticed was her screams.

She was in pain...in her last moments, she was hurting. That knowledge killed you every day. As if knowing you had lost all the family that ever cared about you didn't kill you enough back then. You didn't even know about Charlie or Joanna back then.

And now you had lost even more. Two years ago now you lost your father. And every Christmas there was an emptiness in your heart, knowing that he could have been alive. He could have been with you, eating those cheap cakes you got with him. Sneaking into his flat...

Of course now there was the biggest loss you could ever face. You didn't even get a chance to meet him properly...to hold him in your arms. None of it. He was gone before you were even given the chance...

Sometimes you still wondered what the point of getting up every morning was. You might not show it but inside it was hurting every second. And it was a mental battle to just stand up and get ready every day to just...get on with it.

"Hey" Missy said softly, making you look up at her with a small sniffle "you've got us now remember." She said, as though she knew what you were thinking and could read your mind "I know it might seem like you've lost a lot, and you are so much stronger than most people I know. But you've always got us by your side. I'll always be at the end of a phone call if I'm not there right next to you, standing and breathing beside you. And you'll have your siblings for a long time still to come. They both love you so much. And so do we. All of us. Especially me..."

You smiled a little at that, looking up at her before leaning into her side, taking in a deep breath of the salty, seaside air and closing your eyes.

Before you furrowed your brows and opened them again, realising where you were.

"Guys...this is...a beach?" You asked, looking around before stepping forward some more.

You practically gasped at what you saw in front of you all.