13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

With

"Come on" Missy whispered against your lips "let's go to bed. You look tired"

You moved back before shaking your head and taking another sip of the drink.

"I can't sleep" you got out in disgust at the alcohol.

"Then just close your eyes and lay down with me." She said gently.

"And what about the things I'll see when I close my eyes?" You whispered "every time I close my eyes I see...horrible things.." you wobbled out the last part.

"Then I'll be right here for you" she said "I told you I won't leave. And as soon as you start to feel scared or see things I'll hold you tightly until you feel safe" she told you.

You sighed heavily, feeling like the air itself was heavy. You could barely lift your head up. This had all taken a toll on you. Not only losing your child, but the people around you. Jason hardly made things better for you.

You looked down at your hand, your face crumpling slightly as you saw the bottle of alcohol in your hand. You were shaking badly. It was common for you. Your hands just wouldn't stop tremoring. Just like your chest wouldn't stop squeezing in grief.

"You know what" you spoke up "I would have been a crap mother anyways" you said, taking a swing at the bottle, the drink burning down your throat.

"Don't day that!" Missy quickly said, looking at you with sad eyes.

"It's true" you whispered in response "who wants a mother who drinks all the time just to get through the day. Or someone who can't even take a fucking pain killer anymore in case of overdosing..."

You trailed off a little, shaking your head and placing your hand on your forehead. You didn't realise how much all of this would hurt. You couldn't cope.

"You're going through grief" Missy spoke gently "people react to it in different ways. This doesn't make you a bad person"

You sighed, before placing the bottle down. You turned over to Missy, biting your lip a little.

"Come on" she spoke "let's go to bed"

You nodded your head before she helped you stand up. You could feel the effects of the tequila already on your body. It was making your head feel a little fuzzy, and you held onto Missy tightly to make sure you wouldn't stumble or anything. You weren't sure how much alcohol you drank.

You couldn't help but look around the TARDIS. You had missed this place so much. Since the day they left, you yearned for this place. For this amazing ship. And all the people inside. They were always there for you...or they were.

There was that familiar hum of the TARDIS, that warmth about it that just made you smile. And you hadn't smiled genuinely in a long time. Not until you came back. The light golden glow, the metal walls. You know that this, this right here, was home. It was where you wanted to be. Where you needed to be. Where you belonged.

You and Missy made your way towards her room, and she opened the door, guiding you in. You only just realised her arm around your waist. You blushed a little.

This whole thing with you and Missy just made you feel all fuzzy inside. The way she kissed you...you could never forget that moment. It was amazing. It was the first time you felt...incredible. In a long time. The first time you were happy, surprised and just..amazed.

"Your room hasn't changed" you mumbled out, looking around.

Everything was as you remembered it. The same layout, the same bed the same coloured walls...even that familiar smell of vanilla in the room. It reminded you so much of her. Of your beloved Missy.

"Yeah it..hasn't been that long since you were here. At least not for me.." Missy mumbled out.

You sighed "and it's been two years for me.." you grumbled "I'm getting major déjà vu. This is exactly what happened the first time round when I was sixteen" you got out, feeling your emotions fizzle up as your lips started to tug downwards.

Missy sighed quietly at that "well it won't happen again. I swear"

"Yeah that's what the doctor said too" you whispered.

Missy pulled away from you and walked over to her wardrobe.

"I don't have anything that'll fit you but..a shirt and some leggings might do for tonight right?" She asked, looking at you.

"Yeah" you replied before smiling a little "I always liked wearing your big shirts"

Missy smiled at that before throwing you some clothes. You quickly caught them, thanking her quietly. You stopped and started to blush when seeing her casually take off her clothes, starting to change.

You gulped, trying to stop your cheeks from blushing so bad. She had her back to you for gods sake!

You started to awkwardly take off your own clothes, though you couldn't help but stare in Missy's direction. She had a nice black bra on. It looked laced from the back.

But you blushed even harder when she started to take that off too. Now you were glad she wasn't facing you. Well...half glad.

You looked away and started to change quickly, though you couldn't help but furrow your brows a little. You wondered what the kiss meant. She said she loved you back...what exactly did that make you?

"Missy" you called, making her hum in response "are we...girlfriends now?" You stuttered out shyly.

She grinned a little at that "if you want us to be. I mean..I'd like us to be..."

"Then yes" you said, before you were both changed and climbed into bed.

She smiled and climbed in after you, wrapping her arms around you. You couldn't help but smile. You felt so warm in her arms. You had never made contact like this with anyone else for so long.

"I'm so glad you're with me" you whispered "my angel"

She smiled at that before propping herself up, looking at you and smiling. She leaned in a little, climbing over you slightly so she was basically hovering over you.

"My love" she whispered before connecting your lips, making you smile as butterflies flew in your stomach and fireworks between your lips.