13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Thinking

You had thought over the doctors words since taking her advice. Everything she said was true and was in all obesity just confusing you now. You had no idea whether Missy felt the same way or not anymore. If anything, you were leaning to the side where she did feel something for you.

Everything the doctor said made sense. If Missy felt the same way, you probably just had no idea. And you were probably giving off the wrong message every time. You ever really went for the kiss. You always ended up with the cheek. And you never said anything to her properly. And you always friend zoned her. And you did turn away from a kiss once.

All things Missy had also done. All things which you thought meant she didn't like you. But seeing as you did the same and certainly did like her, you were wondering if it was the same with her. And that maybe she liked you back.

And of course there were the times she had nearly, oh very nearly kissed you. What else was she trying to do? You had no idea why you played it off like nothing happened and she wasn't trying to kiss you. Your lips touched, they just brushed past each other. It wasn't a kiss but...it was very very nearly. Some may even argue that you two had already kissed. You could still feel the small tingles you got when your lips feathered past each other. You craved that feeling. You craved more of it. You just wanted her.

And yet you were so afraid to make a move. You weren't entirely sure what it was that held you back. Your nerves of course were what physically held you back from even saying anything. But you just weren't sure what it was that was causing such anxiety. You had never felt this way before, it was definitely all new to you.

You didn't think it was humiliation that held you back. Though the idea of the others just laughing at your failed attempt did make you feel slightly sick. And the idea of Missy laughing at you made it worse. Or maybe it was Missy rejecting you. You knew that the worst thing that could happen would be that Missy would no longer want to be anywhere near you. Or just act differently around you because things were awkward. She definitely wouldn't let you sleep in her bed with her at night anymore. But not even having her as your friend made you feel genuinely afraid.

Or perhaps it was what had been holding you back from approaching anyone else romantically in your life. Jason. You knew what would happen if he ever found out you were dating someone else. And it wasn't good. It made you shiver in fear and disgust. He became angry when you didn't even mean to make him angry. Who knew what would happen once you purposefully pushed him to anger?!

The whole thing with him was just confusing. You were with him. He was your...as much as you hated it, boyfriend. And you weren't the type of person to cheat. And in all honesty, you didn't even want to be with him anymore. But breaking up with him was practically impossible. Who knew what he would do! He would be so angry at you...you didn't even want to think about that. You were no match to his strength. And at times his whole aura scared you so much you couldn't even look at him. Especially after some of the things he had done to you.

But in the end of it all, you just wanted to be with Missy. And it was proving to be much more complicated to be with her and to even tell her how you feel, than you first thought.

You sighed, sitting on one of the chairs in the console room. You couldn't really concentrate, your head was starting to hurt. You heard footsteps coming your way and you turned to see Missy there, a smile on her face. Your heart instinctively started to race just that little bit faster in your chest.

Her face turned to one of concern, walking over to you.

"Are you alright love?" She asked.

You blushed heavily when she called you that, your heart feeling like it could jump out of your chest. You really liked it when she called you that. It just made you feel so funny inside and you just couldn't explain your reaction. It just made you feel happy and act like this. Your cheeks feeling like they could burst into flames at any second.

"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting down next to you, wrapping an arm around you, making you feel warm and your heart continue to race.

"Nothing..I..I was just thinking.." you replied, stuttering slightly and trying to hide your blush with a (h/c) curtain of your hair.

"Well what were you thinking about then?" She asked with a light chuckle, a smile on her lips.

You literally had to force yourself not to look at those lips. You were going crazy right now!

You bit your lip, remembering what the doctor had said. You just needed to say it! To speak up! She probably felt the same way...right?

You looked over at her, licking your lips nervously before swallowing, staring at her lips which you realised were incredibly close to you, then slowly back up to those wonderful blue eyes. You needed to know how she felt about you.

"Do you-" you stopped yourself when hearing laughter and footsteps coming your way.

You turned your head and saw both Graham and Ryan walk in, a smile on their faces and both wearing black suits with ties. You smiled at them.

"Nice suits" you commented.

"Thanks. The TARDIS chose for us. I'm really excited for this date night. Come on then, are we going or what?" Graham asked.

"Yeah. Missy we should drop these guys off first at the venue. And you and me can buy some dresses while helping the girls choose" you said, standing up.

Missy nodded her head "this is going to be amazing"