13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Kiss

Warning: there's a panic attack here

The hand grabbing your wrist pulled you back from the edge, making you stumble slightly in shock and surprise.

You felt the panic immediately start to rise within you, not liking the contact. You tried to pull away, the hyperventilation already picking up. You couldn't have anyone touching you..you couldn't!

"Get off me!" You shouted through your sharp intakes of breath while being dragged further away from that drop.

Through your panic you didn't realise who it was that was pulling you down. You only just looked up and noticed a very familiar blonde standing next to you. The same one you hadn't seen in..two years. And there was that blue box...You were so deep in your thoughts, blocking everything out from your surroundings and focused on jumping..that you didn't even hear the TARDIS landing behind you.

How could you have missed that noise you wanted to hear for two years more than anything? How could you have missed that noise that always brought hope to you?

But you were too focused on her holding your wrist to be able to take it in properly. You were panicking badly and desperately trying to pull away. Or to even voice your protest. But the panic was chocking you and you could barely seem to breathe.

She was so strong. Her grip on your wrist wasn't painful but it was definitely firm. And no matter how hard you tried to pull away from her, from this contact that had you in a state of fear and dread, she wouldn't budge. And that only fuelled to your panic even more.

Your heart was beating so fast you couldn't keep up and your chest was twisting painfully, your stomach churning and making you want to throw up. And your throat was closing up like a noose around your neck just waiting until you suffocated to death. And you were painfully aware of how the world was spinning and your head was feeling faint.

The doctor dragged you into the TARDIS with you struggling, opening the doors and dragging you in. You were in full panic mode by this point and you couldn't even see straight. Everything was too much. You were shaking..your mind was running so fast from thought to thought. But all you could think about was how she was still making contact. And how you needed to get away.

"(Y/n)!" The doctor shouted "what were you thinking?!"

"Get off me! P..please!" You shouted through your utter and sheer panic that was rising up your neck and only making the tightness in your chest worse by the second.

As soon as her grip loosened you took the chance to pull out of her hold, immediately tripping and stumbling to the ground. You shuffled back as far away from everyone as you could. You were all too aware of how there were so many people around you right now.

You shuffled as far back as you could, pressing your back up against one of those golden pillars that you hadn't seen in years, staying away from everyone as not to make contact.

You didn't even get a chance to take in your surroundings. You knew somewhere in the back of your head that you were back on the TARDIS, back to your real home. To where you were always safe...

But you couldn't concentrate on one thought for long enough to be able to take it in. Your panic attack and anxiety was starting to rip through you. You curled into a ball, bringing your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around them, burying your face into your knees and hyperventilating.

You were shaking horribly, unable to stop the tremors. You just couldn't have anyone touching you. She touched you for too long..she made contact for too long. You couldn't let her! You couldn't get hurt again! You just..you just couldn't! You had to get away and keep yourself safe. Trusting anyone..letting them make contact only got you hurt. And you couldn't take anyone. No more!

You were choking on your own breaths and your heart was beating so fast that you could hear it in your ears. You couldn't hear anything else around you. You couldn't concentrate on anything but that pain in your chest..you felt like you were dying. You couldn't breathe, toy couldn't think. You couldn't stop shaking. And of course, even through all of this...you couldn't cry.

"Hey" you jumped in fear, letting out a small scream when trying to pull away from the contact, not even aware of who it was who just spoke to you, unable to hear properly.

You tried to pull away desperately in panic but paused when realising who it was, looking up. It was Missy. You hadn't seen her in so long..she looked exactly the same.

She placed both her hands on your cheeks, and you noticed that you had already calmed down by now. You looked at her, still shaking slightly, but you couldn't help but get lost in those beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm sorry..." you whispered "I..I had to take the cowards way out..." your voice was wobbling.

She shook her head before leaning forward. Your eyes widened in shock when she crashed her lips right up yours. You froze for a moment, your body needing a moment to catch up.

Right before you closed your eyes and started to kiss back, moving your lips against and in sync with hers. And you noticed a small smile starting to pull at your lips.

The feeling was like firewords. And your heart was starting to beat for another reason. You were starting to calm down but at the same time going crazy because Missy was kissing you! She was kissing you! And her lips were so soft...

When she pulled away, your foreheads were pressed against each other, and you could feel her breath on your face. You slowly opened your eyes, looking into her eyes, a bright blush starting to form on your face.

"I love you too" she whispered with a smile.

You were at a loss for words. Your stomach was doing backflips. And you loved it.

You smiled before pressing your lips up against hers, kissing her with everything and finally letting all your emotions, all your love, out for her.