Pillar Of The Night Sky

Chapter 87 Self Loathing

Yozora was in the backyard of Onui's workshop. He was training with multiple swords so he could improve his Infinite One-Sword style. He sat down as he took a short break. When he did, Onui soon sat down next to him.

"You know Yozora, that dinner you made yesterday was so delicious. I should let you cook more often."

Yozora just smiles at Onui as they sat down together. They were alone at the moment, seeing as everyone else is busy. When Onui looked at Yozora, she noticed something off about him.

"Yozora.....you're sad aren't you?"

Yozora's eyes widen a bit as he knew Onui was right. As he was sitting down he felt Onui wrapping her arms around him as she hugs him from behind his back.

"I understand you only want to help others, but please. Try to care for yourself even more. Its okay to be a little selfish sometimes."

Yozora looked down as he thought to himself. He doesn't think he deserved anything he has right now. He believes, as the only survivor of his home, its unfair to the deceased if he prioritized his own needs.

".............."

"Yozora, please. Just try to care for yourself more."

"I'll try my best Onui. Though....it'll take some time."

Onui nodded as she didn't let go of Yozora. The boy didn't seem to mind as he knew what was troubling her. Like him, Onui has lost a lot of people she cherished. Right now, her and Yozora were the only ones here who understood each other's suffering.

"By the way, i'm heading out today."

"Do you have another mission?"

The boy shook his head. He didn't receive a mission yet, but there was someone he wanted to talk to for a moment. Right now he was heading for one place in particular.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be just fine. Anyways, i'll be back as soon as i can."

Yozora stood up and left the workshop. As he walks away, he couldn't help but have an eerie feeling. Yet he didn't know why he had such a feeling.

~At the Church~
Nora was standing alone as her father was away for business. She invited Yozora over because she wanted to tell him something.

"Yozora......he's done so much. Yet, i've done nothing to help him."

Nora was  looking down as she had a sad look. Yozora did so much for her, but she felt that she hasn't done anything to return the favor. As she was looking upset, she heard the doors of the church open up.

"Sorry i'm late Nora."

There he was. Yozora stood before her and she couldn't find the words to say. As she looks at him, a large weight was on her shoulders. Her eyes held nothing but guilt in them.

"Even after all this time. All i do is cause suffering for him. I was a fool to think i could have a fresh start with him after what happened to us."

Nora didn't say a word, all she did was walk up to Yozora and hugged him. Yozora couldn't see her face, but he felt nothing but sadness from her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Yozora. I wish could help you. Yet...here i am. Powerless to do anything. I wish i was strong like you. I wish i could fight on the battlefield and be of use to you."

"Nora, you got it all wrong. I'm not strong. And i'm glad you aren't one the battlefield. Because the battlefield......."

Yozora's mind was flooded with images of what he's had to do after joining the Demon Slayer Corps. He killed so many people, failed to save the people he wanted to protect, he even killed the people he cherished or they died merely because he was around. Akame, Muramasa, Tasuke, and Zenon. All their deaths were on his hands.

".........is hell itself. Nora, i don't want you to experience that type of hell. I'd rather die than to let you or anyone else experience a nightmare like that."

"Yozora....are you saying you're willing to carry that burden on your own? That's tragic....too tragic. Don't you care about your own life?"

"No....not one bit. I have no right. Someone who left people of his own village to burn to death just so he could live. A person who killed his own sister. A person who caused a great man to be killed. A person who caused an innocent girl to lose her brother. A person who killed his own brother. After all that, do you really think there is any chance he will be happy despite knowing of all the crimes he committed. Whether justified or not, murder is still murder. I wanted to be a hero of justice, but when i look at myself now.........all i see is a killer."

Nora looked at Yozora's face and her eyes widen a bit. When she looked at his eyes, instead of their usual bright color, she noticed they started to look a little dull. It was almost as if the life in them was slowly fading away. Without speaking a word, she held Yozora close to her.

"With how strong and mature he is, it's easy to forget that Yozora is still the same age as me. How long.....how long have you forced yourself to hide your guilt so others wouldn't worry?"

~Meanwhile~
Tokinada was sitting inside of his estate. As he looked out the window, he found himself lost in thought. The Demon Slayer Corps agreed to sending a pillar as a bodyguard for him. Since the Tsunayashiro family helped the corps in the past, they didn't want to lose an ally.

"I wonder, who will be the pillar that will guard me. I didn't receive any info on who it is, though i'm lucky i could get a pillar to "guard" me at all."

Soon Tokinada felt someone's presence near the estate. As he walked outside to greet them, he saw the boy was about fourteen years of age.

"Hey. I'm Muichiro Tokito. I'll be your guard or something."

"Tokinada Tsunayashiro, at your service. I look forward to your company."

As Tokinada reached out for a handshake, Muichiro just gave the man a blank stare. Soon he decided to play along and shook his hand. When Muichiro saw Tokinada's face, he noticed the man smiling and yet it sent chills down his spine.

"I don't know why, but when i saw that smile......i felt as if.....my own life was in danger."