Black Waves Part 2

Cuddles and Anxiety

Remington has been barely adjusting to his new life, life of fear and agony. His panic attacks have been happening less but he also hasn't been going outside to try to even face his fears. He misses his husband, the love and protection Andy gives him, but once he touches him or holds him too tight he is back in that cold damp room. When they started kicking him in the jaw and stomach, breaking part of his jaw. When Austin stabbed him in the stomach, making everything get blurry. Or when Austin took off his pants, the knife pressed down against him, the reality of what was happening became too much and he passed out from the extreme pain. 

Everything is depressing now. It hurts to walk still. I want my husband back. I want to cuddle him, but how? I'm scared. I rather be dead. But Andy won't let me. Andy swears I'll be okay. But I'll never be okay. I'm too scared to move.

Within the last two months he started actually talking again. Before, he was completely mute, cowering constantly and refusing to eat. Andy would try to get him outside but every time he'd step foot outside he would start uncontrollably crying. The trips to the doctor have been just the same, and even though Andy swears it's fine and he can handle it, it's been horridly mentally and physically tiring. But he would never leave his husband behind.

Remington watches his husband sit down on the bed, sensing the sadness in his body language. The guilt fills up his stomach and he wants to touch him so bad but he feels the knife stabbing him in the stomach. He shakes the image out and reaches into his night stand and takes an Ativan. Andy lays down away from him to give him his space, something he is now accustomed to. Remington lets the medicine kick in, slowly crawling to his husband and snuggles up to him, remembering his soft touch. Andy gasps at the contact but let's him take control, not wanting to scare the boy.

"C...can you rub my head? Really soft?" Remington slurs out, the medicine taking it's toll.

"Yeah, of course sweet heart." Andy rubs his head softly and for once doesn't feel his lover tense up. 

"You are doing so good baby. I told you you would make progress."

"It took me popping pills to do this. I just want to stay in your arms and never leave but every time I do I feel them cutting into me."

Andy sighs, inhaling his husband's neck. "One step at a time baby. Get to sleep darling. I'll be here."

"Can you make sure not to fall asleep on me? I might freak out in the morning."