Black Waves Part 2

Realizations and Sickness

2 and a half months later. 159. Well....here's to the 150's! Remington has been feeling sick like crazy but still follows Ashley's plan completely. But it's weird now. He can barely eat if he even wanted to. He sees black dots a lot and gets really dizzy when they appear. He doesn't bother Ashley with the news though. He'd probably say drink more water or something.

"I'm so fucking proud of you baby! I have a friend who's looking for models right now. You should go an audition!" 

Remington smiles and nods, but in the back of his head he rather not. 

Remington still goes on his husband's social medias and sees nothing. I hope he's okay.... Of course he isn't. I fucking cheated on him like a whore. Remington tears up, wanting to hurt himself. I shouldn't have ever left him. I shouldn't have ever talked to Ashley. Andy is so amazing...why would I ever do this? It isn't his fault...he didn't ask them to torture me ...they are just sick people. 

Remington has been crying himself to sleep for the last few nights. He is longing for Andy's touch. Wants to hear his soft quiet snores. Wanting to feel Andy wrap his muscular arms around him. God I need him....but how do I leave Ashley?

Remington has been escaping to his and Andy's house more and more lately. But today is different. Remington is craving sweet and sour chicken. He's been so good about dieting and exercising, he can do it this once, right? And throw it all up afterwards. And that's exactly what he does.

After his dinner fiasco he feels dirty and disappointed. He stands mirror and frowns. Ashley pointed out the small bit of cellulite on his right thigh and butt cheek meaning he needs to lose more. And here he is eating like a slob. He sniffles, refusing to let himself sob. Instead, the black spots start to return and everything is becoming hazy. He grabs his bottle of water and lays on the couch, sipping it slowly. 

I need to text my brothers.