Black Waves Part 2

Agony and Confessions

Defeated, broken. 

Andy's mad at me.

He said he needs some time alone so now Lonny is back.

I don't want Lonny here.

I want my husband.

I need Andy.

I'm scared.

He's been gone for three days.

I should have let him beat me.

I shouldn't have had sex with him.

Andy saw it.

He saw it all.

He heard every time I begged him to keep going.

He heard me moan his name.

He saw me entertain him.

He saw him entertain me.

He saw my smiles and heard my moans.

But Andy, I had to.

Or else he would have electrocuted me.

He would have lent my body to someone else.

He would have whipped me.

He would have cut me with his knife.

He would have choked me until I passed out.

Andy, please understand.

I didn't want to hurt.

I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to get home to you safe.

I don't want him.

I want you.

Only you.

Please help me Andy.

I'll die without you.

Lonny keeps looking at me with sad eyes.

He talks to Andy once a day to make sure I'm still okay.

He won't speak to me.

I don't feel safe.

I want to hurt myself.

I hate myself.

I should have let him hurt me more.

Maybe I wouldn't have been alive today.

Then Andy could find someone new.

Someone who isn't me.

Someone who doesn't hurt him.

I give up.

I'm done.

I'm no good.

I'm worthless.

He will find better.

Goodbye Andrew.