Black Waves Part 2

Lyrics and Lies

Sebastian- Are you fucking insane?????? Why did you leave him?????

Sebastian- Look Rems, you need to fix this. He's your HUSBAND

Sebastian- I can't even support you with this bullshit. I can't believe youd stoop this low

Emerson- Remington are you okay? I thought you two were fine

Sebastian- He is so heartbroken. You know what Ashley did to his band. That was his best friend!

Remington doesn't respond to any of the messages and feels heavy. He regrets reaching out in the first place. It's been three months since he last saw Andy. Three months. He hasn't heard from the man either. Even his Instagram has been still empty. The guilt has been eating him alive.

He's been at his and Andy's house in California, writing another song. There are pictures of the two everywhere and it makes the guilt worse. He spends some nights with Ashley but every time they have sex it doesn't feel good at all. Remington let's him have his way with him but in his head all he can think about is Andy, and how good Andy was, and how Andy knew which spots drove him wild and what to avoid. Andy knew his limits and wouldn't dare question him. Ashley is completely different. He likes pushing Remington out of his comfort zone. They even do electric play and it sends Remington back to Austin, remembering the taser. Ashley can't tell between his screams of pleasure or PTSD. But truly, none of it is pleasure. He still can't even get Remington off. The only way it happens is if Remington jacks himself off with his eyes closed, thinking of his husband. He even came close to moaning out Andy's name a couple more times but ends up making an incoherent noise instead.

Lonely, another day
Drowning, please save me
I am struggling in my own daydream

I know I can't live much longer
Hear the angels sing

Tonight is the night I die

Surrender to my pain, locked inside my cage
Could I be a prisoner for the voices in my brain?
My mind is gone to waste, can't stand to look at my face
All these thoughts inside my head, be silenced by the bang

I know I can't live much longer
Hear the angels sing. Tonight is the night I die. Believe me, believe me when I say. Tonight is the night I die

Die another day. What they want me to say. What they want me to say. Die another day. Die another day. Die another day. Tonight is the night I die

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I look at you as I take my last breath. As I die and fall to the floor. My pain and suffering is no more

Tonight is the night I die. Believe me, believe me when I say. Tonight is the night I die. Believe me, believe me when I say. Tonight is the night I die

Die another day. What they want me to say. Die another day. Tonight is the night I die

He brings it to the studio and makes minor adjustments. Sebastian and Emerson still came even though they are mad at him. The song turns out so eerie and Remington's voice is more hoarse than usual but it completes it perfectly.

Emerson watches his brother in worry and Remington catches his glare.

"You want to yell at me too? Go ahead Em."

Emerson sighs and reaches his arm. "I love you Remi. The song is beautiful. But are you okay? Are you thinking about hurting yourself?"

Remington hugs his brother tightly. "Thank you for actually asking. Seriously. I know Sebastian hates me right now and it's all becoming so heavy. I already feel like shit."

Emerson holds him back tight. "It's just, you know we love Andy. He's our family now. And he's hurting. But I don't know how you are feeling. You won't let us in."

Remington sighs and steps back. "I miss him Em. I fucking miss him horribly. Ash is not the same. He is so rough all the time. Andy, he knew when to stop. He also cared about me, my well being. What I wanted to do and what I wanted to eat and just random shit. Ash, he keeps calling me fat and wants sex all the time. He keeps pressuring me to do a sex tape with him but I don't trust it. I can only eat super healthy and work out constantly. He wasn't like this before..."

"Because he knew what to do to reel you in," Emerson says. "He knew you were hurt. He knew what you'd do to leave him and it wasn't much."

Remington looks down, "I'm a horrible husband... Um, have you heard from him?"

Emerson nods. "He's actually going to be in town today. He's flying in around 3."

"Oh...for what? I haven't spoken to him in months."

Emerson grabs his hand gently. "He is coming to speak to a lawyer Rem...about you."

Remington's eyes widen. "Please tell me you are joking Em...he hasn't even said anything to me."

"Rem...you haven't spoken to him in months. He gave you a break but didn't think it would be this long. It's about to be Christmas in like two weeks. You left him in the beginning of October. So all of October, all of November, and it's about to be all of December...what did you think he was going to do?"

Tears are trailing down his face now. "He said he would wait for me. Em he hasn't even tried contacting me and now he's doing this?"

"Dude he gave you a lot of time. He did ask once if you were okay. We didn't understand why he did until you finally told us that you two separated. It all makes so much sense now. We've talked to him more now knowing you cheated on him because he's fucking family. He misses you like crazy but he can't hang on forever. You never tried to call him. You never checked in on him. Honestly me and Seb support him on this one."