Fluffy Phan One-Shots

Not A Muffin Basket

*Dans point of view*

"Did you order it?!" I shouted from the couch.
"Yeah! I'm just getting myself some coffee!" Phil yelled from the kitchen. We were having a pizza- anime marathon tonight. I laid out my duvet a little more so that Phil would easily be able to slide in. I fixed my hair a little, hoping is wasn't too much of a mess.

He came out and slipped in the heated blanket with his coffee and a smile. I smiled back at the fact that he was wearing his glasses. He sat down when.. the doorbell rang. I shot Phil a look.
"Oh no. Nonononono. Your turn." He raised his eyebrows at me.
"But I don't want to get up." I whined.
"But I already got up, and I just sat down." I rolled my eyes and got up. I mimicked his words in an annoying tone.
"The money's in the counter!" He yelled.

I grabbed the money and walked into the hallway. I opened the door and frowned. The pizza delivery person was no where to be seen. I started to wonder if someone ding dong ditched us, until I looked down.

At me feet was a small wicker basket, I shrugged and picked it up. I closed the door and walked into the kitchen.
"Phil, did someone get you a muffin basket?!" I asked unfolding the towel on top. I found a note.
"I don't think so why?" He yelled.
"Someone left a basket at our doorstep." I stated as a opened the letter.

Dear whoever lives here,
I'm fifteen years old and was kicked out of my house when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend left me and my parents said I could only come home if I got rid of her.
You don't have to keep her, put her up for adoption if you want. She was born a week ago and doesn't have a name. Name her what you'd like, or don't at all. Whatever you do with her please give her a good life.
I know I must seem like a terrible mother, but I didn't know what else to do.
Sincerely,
The mother of this child

My eyes widened and quickly squeezed shut as I slowly unfolded the cloth. Please don't be a baby, please don't be a baby.. I thought over and over in my head. Please just be muffins, please be muffins. Or bread or fruit, or even trash, just not a baby. Don't be a-

I opened my eyes and looked down to see a chubby little face with closed eyes, a tiny nose and a tiny set of lips. It had a little bit of brown hair that didn't really stick out from its head at all. It was wrapped in a pink blanket.

My eyes widened and my throat clenched, I felt like I wanted to puke. Not only was it not a mother fuckin muffin basket, but it was a BABY. A BABY. What was I going to do with a baby?! Then I thought about Phil. How's he going to react? It's not like we were dating or anything either, we are just two best friends stuck with a baby to take care of! We could barely even take care of ourselves!

I was already freaking out when I saw the word on the note.
Girl.

Two guys stuck with a fucking baby girl. Neither of us can talk to girls! How are we going to raise one?! I started to pace a bite my nails when I heard Phil.
"What was it?!" He yelled from the living room.

I walked in there and felt dizzy.
"Dan?" I heard him asked, I shook my head. I couldn't seem to get my eyes to unwiden.
"I need to sit down" I choked out, falling on the couch.
"Are you ok? You look awfully pale." Phil felt my forehead.
"Basket... w-wasn't muffins." I couldn't seem to get words out.
"What was it?" He asked, I shook my head as I stared at the ground.

He went into the room and came out with wide eyes.
"Dan, why is there a baby in our kitchen?" I held up the note in my hand. After he read it he dropped the note and sat next to me. We both sat next to each other and stared at the note. After about five minutes of not talking Phil broke the silence.

"So, we now have a baby together."
"Yup."
"And neither of us have any idea how to raise a kid."
"Yup."
"What are we going to do? Give it up?"
"I mean, that's the logical thing to do."
"I'm gonna go call." He got up and dialed the number for the adoption center. I let go of a breath, everything was going to be situated.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of water. I slammed the cabinet forgetting about the baby, until I heard crying. I snapped around with wide eyes.
"Nonono, sh sh shhh, don't cry." I winced and walked over. "Be quiet please." I whispered. I realized she had brown eyes, that would be cute if she wasn't crying and bursting my eardrums.

Phil walked in off the phone.
"What'd they say?" I asked over the crying, he looked scared.
"They said... said it wouldn't be for a week until we could bring her in." He gave me a stressed look.
"A week?! We have to take care of a baby for a week?!" I yelled eyes wide, the baby seemed to cry louder. "Will you please be quiet!" I yelled.
"How do we make it stop crying?!" He yelled.
"I don't know! Maybe it's hungry!"
"What do babies eat?!"
"I don't know! Google it!" Phil went into the other room while I walked over to the baby.

I winced as I slowly picked it up. I held her in my arms and she.. stopped crying. I walked into the living room.
"I did it!" I said happily.
"How?!" He asked confused.
"I just picked her up." I said sitting down. "What does it say?"
"It says breast milk." He looked at me. "Which neither of us have."
"We could call Louise, she has it." I shrugged.
"Dan!" Phil gave me a look.
"What?! She's pregnant!" I gave him a look.
"We can't ask her that."
"Fine."

He kept reading. "Or formula!" He smiled.
"Does that mean we have to go to the store?" I frowned.
"Yup. Let's get going before she starts crying again." He got up and grabbed the keys, I followed as the baby started crying again.
"Too late." I mumbled as he held the door open for us. I tried to rock it back to sleep as we walked to the car, but no matter what I did the baby kept crying.

He again held the door open for me and I slipped into the passenger seat. He sat in the driver seat and started to drive.
"Make sure your seat belt's on." He said looking over at me. With a struggle, I got it in without dropping her.

"She stopped crying!" I whispered as we drove.
"Maybe she likes car rides." He smiled at her and then at me. We drive in silence.
"So what are we going to call her?" Phil asked me.
"Nothing." I said immediately.
"What do you mean, we have to call her something." He said looking at the road.
"I just.. I don't want to get attached." I shrugged.
"We won't get attached. We have to call her something. I like Winnie." He shrugged.
"I hate it." I frowned.
"Why, I think it's cute! I love the name, and you are Winnie the Pooh and all." He smirked over at me.
"We are not calling her Winnie." I gave him a look.
"Ok fine, what are we calling her then?" He sighed pulling into the parking lot.
"Not Winnie." I said looking down at her.

We got out of the car and found the baby area.
"So what do we get?" I asked looking around.
"I know we need formula... and diapers." Phil said looking at her and then back to me.
"Ok." We picked them out and put them in the cart.
"What else?" I asked looking around.
"Do we need a car seat or a stroller?" Phil asked me looking at all the choices.
"We'll only have her for a week, I don't think we need those. We need clothes though, she can't just wear a blanket for a week." I said as I kept walking.
"Ok let's go pick some out." I felt her waking up. "We better hurry though." We got there and let's just say... we picked out more than needed.

They were just so cute and tiny! We also picked out a crib and we were on our way home. I let Phil hold her in the car since he didn't get to yet.

As we drove though, I couldn't help but look over at him. He was looking down at her with a smile on his face. She was fast asleep. His blue eyes were shining. I started to think about how great of a dad he'd be.

"Don't get too attached to Winnie." I said looking back at the road. Talking to not only him, but to myself.
"I thought we weren't going to call her Winnie."