Comment After Comment

1.4K 71 52
                                    

*Dan's point of view*

"I don't have those," I whispered, the back of my mind said otherwise. The comments about my heart eyes showing were thrown in my face after the video Phil and I had made was uploaded. Other comments were talking about how we should be together, or how we're totally married.

Video after video, the comments were the same. I wanted to say that I was annoyed by all these comments, but that's not how I felt at all. I didn't want to believe it, but I wasn't annoyed or mad, I was sad. In every video, people would talk about my heart eyes, or how I smile at Phil, or how in love I am with him. They don't say it about Phil though.

It's been a long time since I've seen a comment mentioning Phil's love eyes, or how he smiles at me, or how in love he is with me. I think it's because he's not. I'm not saying I am, I mean, I might be, but I was never one to understand my own feelings.

The more I thought about these comments, the more I wanted to cry. I couldn't look at myself when I filmed videos, but the viewers could. When I was little, my mum always told me that when you love someone, you aren't always the first one to notice. She said that it was a friend of hers that told her she was in love with my dad. Her friend always told her that she looked at him like he was the moon and all of the stars. My mum said that's when she realized she truly was in love. I can't see myself falling in love when I look at Phil, but other people can.

After an hour of looking passed, I closed my computer. I figured it was time to stop scrolling through the comments. They were just making my mood worse anyway.

I walked into the kitchen and looked for something to eat. I sighed, I wasn't in the mood for anything. I sat down on the couch. I picked up the remote and flipped through some channels, but I wasn't in the mood to watch anything either. I didn't even know what I wanted to do.

"You ok?" Phil sat down next to me. He was scrolling through his phone. I sighed, I knew I couldn't tell him what I wanted to tell him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I shrugged.
"Are you sure?" He was looking up from his phone now. He looked back and forth between my eyes. He looked worried, I nodded. "Really? 'Cause you look upset," He frowned.

I looked at him for a little while. I tried to read signs that he looked at me like I was the moon and all the stars, but he didn't. He looked worried, but he didn't look in love.

"It's nothing," I stopped looking at him and stood up. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I need to clear my head," I decided. Just as I was about to walk away, Phil grabbed my wrist. I looked down at him and his face grew pink.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, we're best friends," His eyes were intense, but I still didn't want to tell him. We're best friends. His words stuck in my head. How was I supposed to tell him what was wrong when the only thing I could think of was how I wanted to be more than that?

"It's just this dumb thing. I'll be over it soon anyway," I shrugged.
"What is it?" Phil asked, I sat down.
"Just some YouTube comments," I mumbled.
"Dan, don't listen to those. You're a great person. You're funny, you're incredibly nice despite your language, you look fine- especially with the curly hair... They're wrong-"

"No, Phil, their right," I had tears in my eyes now. Phil gave me a questionable look. I looked into his blue eyes. They were too damn easy to fall in love with. "I'm in love with my best friend," I looked away. There was a silence. I know it didn't last long, but it felt like it lasted an eternity.

"You're.. in love with me?" Phil finally asked. His voice was so quite it was barely more than a whisper. I couldn't look at his face. "I.. I didn't.. since when?" He asked.
"Phil you don't have to pretend to be interested. I know you don't love me back anyway," I whispered.
"Who says-"

"Comments about how in love I look with you don't bother me. Because I am in love with you, it makes sense. The comments that bother me are the ones that don't exist. I've never seen a comment about you being in love with me. I see comment after comment about me looking at you with "heart eyes" or looking at you like you're the moon and all the stars. I don't ever see comments about you looking at me the same way. I know that's not the only way that you can tell someone loves you, but..." I sighed, I was just rambling now. I thought about my next words. "I'm moving out. I can't live with you and know that you don't.." I trailed off, I didn't want to continue.

"Dan.. have you ever watched one of those videos?" Phil asked, I frowned. "You say you look at all those comments, but have you ever actually watched the videos?"
"I.. not really," I mumbled.
"You may not see a lot comments about me looking in love, but they're there. The only reason there are more comments about your heart eyes is because yours are more noticeable. I hide mine better than you hide yours. If you watch the videos, you can see mine. And when I look at you, I almost always look at you like you're the moon and all the stars, because you're better than the moon and all the stars. You don't see it because you just think that's how I always look when I look at you. I think you've just gotten used to it," Phil smiled at me.

"So.. you do love me?" I asked quietly. I looked back and forth between his eyes. I've looked into his eyes for years. How has it taken me this long to realize that he looks at me like I'm more than the moon and all the stars?
"Of course I love you, Dan," His blush matched mine, both scarlet red.

"Do you want to try us out?" Phil asked, grabbing my hand. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and my heart did backflips. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face.
"Yeah.. I'd like that."

—————————————

Thank you phanspit for the idea of this prompt!

Fluffy Phan One-ShotsWhere stories live. Discover now