Supernatural One Shots Book 2

Nobody Knows It But Me (Lucifer X Reader)

To everyone on the outside, I was happy. I acted like I was glad he was gone. Like I could care less. I went around acting like I usually would but once I'm alone the pain hurts me in fresh waves. With each memory the pain builds. How I'll never feel his icy embrace again. Feel his cool lips on mine ever again. How I'll never get to feel the shivers of excitement his voice would send through me again. But the one the hurts most is when that day in the church plays in my mind over and over again. The horrible screech he let when he was stabbed with the archangel blade. Every time this memory plays I swear I feel my heart crack into more and more pieces.

I found myself wishing I would have done things differently. Why didn't I just tell him how I felt? I fell for him and proudly at that. Others saw him as something evil, sinful when they looked at him but not me. What I saw was sweetness and someone who was unfairly judged and labeled all based on his "father's" word. When we were around each other alone he was a completely different being. Still snarky but in an adorable way. With me, it was like his walls came down. He was kind toward me. Loving. We would spend time talking and eventually we were so use to each other that we would cuddle or he would pull me to him and place feather-light kisses to my lips. Yes to everyone else he was the Devil, but to me, he was an angel I was falling in love with. How I wish I would have told him that. Like maybe had I said it it would have changed how things worked out.

Every night I sit here and I actually prayed to him. I beg him to find his back to me. But nothing happens. It angers me. Jack begged for Castiel back and he got him. Why was I not allowed to have my angel back? I found myself wondering can he hear me? Is he trying to come back and can't? I'll never know. I'm numb. I'm broken-hearted. I feel like I'm dying inside and nobody knows it but me.

Why can't you come back to me?