My Diary

Entry 129

December 7, 2021
7:29 P.M.
Tuesday

Hi, just back for another update. So my mom is out of jail now. At the moment, she doesn't have her car so she had a friend driving her. Like I thought, it was her boyfriend who got her in jail. She was going on, asking how when she had a busted nose, that she's the one who got arrested and I just said "Because he's a rich white man and you're a poor black woman." Because that's something I've noticed with the police in my town. They always take the white man's side over the black woman, even if there is clear proof that the white man was the aggressor. It happened back with my mom and Sonny when I was in highschool and it's happened again with this new guy. Anyway, my mom was talking about how when she was in the psych ward, they concluded she would bring harm to herself and she said she didn't understand that and I just asked "Really?" The woman talks about wanting to die all the regular. I think it's pretty simple how they came to that conclusion. Then she was like "You should go to a psych ward since you always talk about wishing you were never born" and I'm just like "Yeah, I'm aware I'm mentally fucked. Thanks". Honestly, with all the bullshit my mom puts me through, I need a fucking therapist. I know I do. Anyway, my mom was going on and joking that she's done with men and going to women, like women can be toxic and abusive too but whatever. I just joked along and told her to have fun with that. But yeah, that's my little update. My mom's out of jail now so hopefully, she'll stay out. Next time, she's staying in there because I hope I don't sound heartless, I got more important things to worry about. My job's not bailing her out every time she gets into trouble. Hopefully, she'll stop getting into trouble but who knows with her anymore? I don't even know. In my opinion, she should just stop dating because she's just going to repeat this toxic cycle of dating bad men but I know she's not going to stop so eh. But like I said, I'm not here to clean up her mess so if she gets stuck in this bullshit again, she's on her own. This shit leaves me too emotionally exhausted. I'm not going to let her ruin my life anymore. I'm done.