My Diary

Entry 104

November 27, 2020
12:57 P.M.
Friday

Hello bitches, I hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving yesterday if you celebrate Thanksgiving. My older brother has come down for Thanksgiving of course. And like normal, I really hate talking to him. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells whenever I speak to him. Talking to him feels like a training exercise, it's almost like talking to my mom. No matter what I say, he'll find a way to talk down on me or degrade me and it's so obnoxious. I can say the "The sky is blue" and he'll find a way to talk down on me and treat me like I'm an idiot. And I think that's why I hate it so much. Because I'm not an idiot! I have a functioning brain. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm this huge airhead. It pisses me off so much. So of course since my older brother just talks down on me, I just kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. He can't make fun of me for what I say if I don't speak, right? So of course, I'm quiet for about the whole time at the dinner table and he's just like "Geez Zoe, it's like you got a raincloud over your head or something" and I'm just thinking "Wow, about time you fucking noticed". But I just said "I always got a raincloud over my head" and to be honest, I don't even know what the hell he said afterwards. He was mumbling when he said it so I just nodded because I don't know what he just said. Did I stay quiet for the rest of the night? Mostly, yeah. And not only does he talk down on me, he doesn't ever believe anything I say. Like when I said that I am registered to vote, he was all like "Really?" with that huge skeptical look on his face. Like yes, really! Why is that so hard for him to believe? Also he thinks I don't pay attention to politics at all. Which is false. I hate politics but since it's extremely important, I do try to keep up with it. Like I did watch the dumpster fire that was the presidential debate. I know more than people think I do and it's so annoying that everyone basically sucks my older brother's dick and treats him like he's the Messiah and I'm treated like the shit end of the stick. I just wish everyone would stop comparing me to him. Like I'm my own person. Just let me be who I want to be. It's so hard to be myself around him because of that. Also, I am currently looking for a job so maybe that'll get everyone off my back.