My Diary

Entry 86

May 18, 2020
3:53 P.M.
Monday

I don't understand. Why do people act like birthdays are such a big deal? They really aren't. I mean, it's great that you lived to see another year but it's still just like any other day. Or is that just me? If you didn't know, tomorrow is my birthday. And everyone is just like "Are you excited?" Um, no. Why would I be? I don't get it. Am I supposed to be? Am I the weird one here? Also, the whole act of giving presents or gifts. I HATE GIFTS. There's this girl in my neighborhood I've started talking too and she's just a little kid and she's so sweet. Like she said she'll try not to eat her candy so she can give the candy to me for my birthday. Like don't do that. Just eat your candy. It's yours, not mine. I had a friend saying he wants to get me a manga of a video game I really like and I'm just like NO DON'T. Don't spend your money on me. I'm not worth it. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to just get whatever I want only because it's my birthday. I just hate birthdays so much. Everybody makes such a big deal out of it. My granddaddy even is making me drive over to his house tomorrow to get birthday presents. Like I don't want presents. Why don't people understand that? Why spend your hard earn money on such a disgrace of a human being? It makes no sense. I just don't understand. My mom's all like "I got you a new phone for your birthday" and she tries to give me a fist bump but like...I don't want this phone. I even told her this. And she's like "It's a good phone though" but I didn't want it. God, I do sound like an ungrateful little shit, huh? God, I hate myself. I just wish people would stop giving me shit.