My Diary

Entry 145

December 27, 2022
9:12 A.M.
Tuesday

Hey, Merry belated Christmas. I was wanting to tell y'all Merry Christmas on Christmas, but I didn't get the chance to. I worked a double on Christmas (14 hours) so I passed out as soon as I got home and then all my body wanted to do yesterday was sleep so I literally spent my day off sleeping...and now I have to go back in at 2 P.M. today...ugh. Anyway, Christmas was stressful as fuck. I technically worked 15 hours because I didn't leave until almost 10 P.M. because I was trying to clean up the place a little bit before leaving so I wasn't leaving 3rd shift like shit. I stocked up all the to-gos, filled back up all the orange juice and lemonade machines, filled the ice, and filled up all the napkin dispensers, salt and pepper shakers, and the sugar containers at the tables. Just wanted to make sure they weren't running low on shit before leaving. It was crazy busy the entire day. It started at 9 A.M. and it just didn't stop. We ended up running out of grits, sausage gravy, and chili because it was THAT busy. It was ridiculous. Then I got this one dumbass server who's taking multiple orders and calling it all out at ONCE. So of course, that just slows down the whole system. Not like there aren't 4 other servers who needed to call orders...luckily, customers were very patient and were just happy we were open on Christmas, haha. But it does make me feel bad when customers are stuck waiting for their food. I also had to remake tea because we about ran out of that too. Like I made one side of tea at around 4 P.M. then when I checked the urn around 7 P.M., we were almost out. I was like "Oh shit, we're gonna end up running out" so I had made that around 7:30 P.M. So we were through a whole urn of tea in 3 hours...that's fucking nuts. The other side of the tea was made around 12:30 P.M. so it would of lasted until 3rd shift (since tea lasts 12 hours so it would of needed to be remade at 12:30 A.M.) but nope, it was so busy that we ran out on that side too. Luckily, one of the other servers had tea made around 6 P.M. over there, but that was still fucking nuts though. We almost about ran out of hashbrowns too. My boss used the last box of hashbrowns and announced he just put it in the last box of hashbrowns and asked one of us to soak more so we had more when we ran out of those. So my mom went and soaked more hashbrowns in the back. But yeah, I was not expecting that level of business...so after the stressful day, my mom and I went to the bar and had a drink. So I didn't get home until midnightish because I didn't leave until almost 10 and my mom decided to play a dart game with one of her friends at the bar. Anyway, my Christmas was chaotic and I had to come home to my older brother being a complete ass (he came down for the holidays). So around 11, he messaged me asking if I was good and I told him I was just having a drink real quick since I had a long ass day at work. I came home and he immediately berated me for it, treating me like I was a drunk for having ONE drink after a stressful day. Obviously, I don't drink often. The last time I had a drink before Sunday was like a month prior. I do not drink on the regular. He was all like "You shouldn't drink when you're stressed" and I just said "I only had one drink" and he was all like "Oh and then one drink turns into two." Like bitch, I'm not our mother. I can control myself. I always only have one drink whenever I go out which is not often, especially since I can't stand the taste of alcohol. But then he starts yelling at me because apparently I gave him attitude when I told him I only had one drink?? This confused the shit out of me and I was just staring at him with a blank expression because I didn't give him attitude whatsoever or even raise my voice. I just saying I only had one drink. I get that he probably didn't like the fact I drank alcohol because of how our mother is, but he didn't need to berate me for deciding to have one drink. I'm only 21 years old. I can drink alcohol if I decide to. I know he's drank alcohol himself before so I think he's just being a hypocrite too. Now if I came home drunk off my ass then him yelling at me would be more justified. But I wasn't even tipsy. I had one drink; in fact, more like half of a drink because I didn't even finish it. Like what the fuck. And again, there was no sass thrown at him from me whatsoever. The one who yelled and raised their voice was HIM. So honestly, that just ruined my day there. I mean I was already just stressed out because of the craziness of work but then he had to go and upset me. I just wish my older brother didn't constantly make me feel like shit whenever I talk to him. It's like walking on eggshells with him because somehow I always say something wrong and then he goes on this tangent about this and about that...I can literally say "ice is frozen water" and he'll find some issue with that and talk down on me. It's ridiculous. My theory is that he's super insecure about himself which is why he talks down on others, to make himself feel better or something. Most narcissists are actually super insecure and my older brother has to be one biggest narcissists I've ever met. I've never seen such a man with such a fragile ego ever. It makes me wonder how his girlfriend deals with him. I couldn't ever be in a relationship with someone like that. Then again, maybe he's only an asshole to me. I don't know. But yeah, apparently having a drink after working a long, busy stressful 15 hour day is a big no-no. I hate my life and my family...this is why I always hated the holidays and was okay with working a double on Christmas so I didn't have to deal with anyone...I'm just gonna stay alone forever since apparently all I do is wrong...