My Diary

Entry 75

March 16, 2020
11:52 A.M.
Monday

Life is such a pain in the ass. So the other day, on like Friday, I was actually talking to my mom and our conversation for once didn't turn into a huge argument. For once, she didn't twist any words I say into something bad or anything. That made me happy. I even registered to vote too on Friday so I can do that this upcoming election if I want to. I doubt I would because politics is too complicated for me to really start comprehending, but I can still do it. Anyway, during this voting registration, this is where things turned sour for me. At least on the inside. I never outwardly say anything because my mom would either yell at me or would ignore me. She started talking about Sonny as if he was the best person on this planet, like he was the light in her world. This obviously pissed me off because he's anything but. Just seeing her write his last name as her last name pissed me off. I can't believe she married this guy. And she's just like "Oh, he always works so hard" and yadda yadda, which is bullshit. He rarely ever goes to work. I even heard this arguing yesterday morning because Sonny didn't go to work. To be honest, I don't know how this guy still has a job with the amount of times he doesn't go to work. Anyway, why is my mom talking about him like he's this perfect gentleman!? He's not! He's a manipulative, abusive asshole who made it very clear he doesn't love my mom as he tries justifying trying to have sex with her best friend, Honestly, I don't even know why he's with her since he doesn't even love her. Is it because she's easy to control or manipulate? Also, I don't even know why she brought him up, but whatever. And guess what? Later that day, as soon as he got home, she ditched me to hang out with him. He always comes first, FOR SOME REASON. She just tossed me aside. Like what? Does she expect me to hang with them? She knows that's never going to happen because she knows damn well that I hate him. Besides, he hates me too and wants nothing to do with me. Probably because I'm not the type who's going to be controlled or manipulated by him like my mom. Just ugh. She always says I come first before him, but her actions say otherwise. Why does my life suck so much? It hurts. I wish I could just die sometimes...