My Diary

Entry 4

January 3, 2019
11:34 P.M.
Thursday

Well, I'm not getting internet back until like the 17th at the earliest, so yay. Happy New Year. That's why I'm posting entries back from like December now. So yeah.

My older brother, Sean came to visit and I was really excited to see him since he's been in college so I haven't seen him in awhile. Now he's just left me feeling like a failure. So Sean here is an overachiever. He had straight As all through school. He's never had a single B. Nothing wrong with that. However, he obviously has something wrong with me not being an overachiever. So I got As and Bs, and a 79 C in English. He's so annoyed with my 79 C. 79 C! Like I'll pass the class with a 79 C. And then he tells me that I need to join a club at school. Not should, but need to. Of course, I told him I don't want to join because I don't like anyone at school and no one likes me. Then he's just like "well, if you're not going to do something because people are assholes, you're​ going to have a tough time." And look, I'm talking about bullshit highschool clubs, not like a legitimate job. I know  eventually I will get a job and I'm going to have asshole co-workers, but I'm talking about a highschool club! I don't need to join a club to graduate, so I'm not joining a dumb club. Sure, maybe he wants to socialize with others, but if I don't like anyone at my school, what's the point!? After this conversation, he then tells me that everything I say is stupid because I don't think before I speak. Which is bullshit. If that was the case, I would of been expelled by now. Trust me. But no, everything I say is dumb and stupid. Nothing I say is important. And then he tells me that writing my stories is technically a joke, and saying it's not healthy for me because in my most recent story right now, the protagonist is a serial killer. And I'm not writing about a serial killer protagonist story because I'm mentally unstable and I want to kill everyone. I'm writing it because one, I've always been interested in serial killers and two, I'm a huge fan of Dexter. I was interested in writing my own serial killer protagonist story. Also, he told me to delete my YouTube channel because he thinks that it won't get me a job later in life. Which is bullshit. I see where he's coming from, but I doubt if I went to work at McDonald's or something, they'll be like "no, you can't work here because of your YouTube channel." No, they're not going to give a shit. Plus, I only have 89 subscribers. No one knows I have a YouTube channel. He basically calls me a failure because I'm a shitty driver (and that's not my fault. Sorry no one is teaching me how to drive.) Also, at least I passed my permit test on my first try. Yeah, my brother failed it his first time. So fuck off. I can't stand him. I remember why I ignored him now. He's basically an asshole who thinks he's better than everyone. So yeah, I had a wonderful fucking day.