My Diary

Entry 135

February 15, 2022
4:17 A.M.
Tuesday

Hey y'all, happy late Valentine's Day! Hope y'all had a good Valentine's Day. I certainly enjoyed mine! I know what you're about to say. Zoë enjoying a day in her life? Preposterous! But no, it happens every once in awhile, haha. My boyfriend came back in town just in time for Valentine's Day so I got to see him and we went out to eat dinner. I feel a little bad because I only ate like a quarter of my food and he paid for it...I feel like I wasted his money...haha. But of what I ate was delicious! I would of took it to go, but I know I would just forget it in the fridge and not eat it...I need to get better with my eating habits. But it was so nice seeing his stupid face and his hearing his derpy voice again. His hugs were comforting as always and just being in his arms relieve a lot of stress...I hate how awkward I am with him though. I stutter in like every sentence I speak and I just freeze whenever he says anything nice to me. Like when I got in his car, he was just like "You look beautiful" and I could just feel my cheeks heating up and I just mumbled "...thank you..." I still don't take compliments well as y'all see, especially if it's from someone I really like! Also, he gave me his jacket because he saw I was freezing...he's so sweet...and I'm still mega nervous when I'm in public too around a lot of people, despite being a waitress...at least I'm not having a panic attack and I was still able to converse with my boyfriend fine. At one point, I was like "So much humans...it's giving me anxiety" and my boyfriend was just like "We can take it to-go and eat it at my house if you want" and I was just like "NO I GOT THIS", haha. But I'm not surprised it was packed in that restaurant. After all, it was Valentine's Day. But I just walked in and was like "HOLY SHIT" when I saw all the people. I felt awkward at my lack of table manners though but my boyfriend was sweet about it and just said "You aren't bothering me". And at one point, I let out the largest fucking belch and I was just like "Excuse me, I'm so sorry, I'm so gross" but my boyfriend just laughed it off and yelled "Nice burp!" I always yell "Nice burp!" whenever someone belches like that too, haha. But while I was out with him, I opened up to him a bit about a lot of my emotional issues, especially my insecurities and how I always feel like I bother him because I'm always craving his attention but he just said "You're not bothersome at all, I promise" which made me feel better. Because I know I can get very clingy and attached to others easily and I know I can be really annoying...he also opened up a little about his issues too although he didn't go into too much detail but it was still nice he opened up to me a little. It makes me feel like he trusts me. But overall, I had a great time with him. Anytime with him is a good time. He's one of the few good things in my life right now. He helps keep me from killing myself, haha. But yeah, that was my Valentine's Day...yeah, I just wrote an entry to talk about a date. I'm so weird, I know. But I enjoyed myself and he said he had a wonderful time too so that's a good sign, right?