My Diary

Entry 62

November 9, 2019
9:03 A.M.
Saturday

I can't believe this guy won't leave me alone! This guy, the same guy I was talking about before, is now writing an entire story about how I "tortured his emotions". How deep. So first of all, he said my name. I don't care if you whine about me to others because I do the same with you, but you used my fucking name. I never used your name once. How rude is that? And I'm still not going to use your name because unlike you, I have respect. So what if his story gets lots of views? I'm going to be seen as this verbally abusive person without them knowing both sides of the story. Yes, I snapped, but only because you kept treating me like I was your girlfriend when I wasn't. I don't know who the fuck you are. I messaged you back on Instagram because you were a subscriber of mine on YouTube and I wanted to connect with the few fans I have. But I keep forgetting all of my fans are batshit insane grown man who act like they know the person I am without meeting me once. Fucking ridiculous. So the first point he says is that I didn't like him because of the age difference. Okay, I never said that once. It has nothing to do with that. It's the fact you're a toxic person, not because you're 27 and I'm 18. I would of felt the same if you were 18 as well. You want advice on how to speak to a girl? Don't start calling her names like "baby" and all though upon speaking to her on fucking Instagram without even meeting her and keep doing so when she asked you to stop. Because I did ask him to stop and just call me Zoe because Zoe is my name and I like to be addressed by only my name by people I do not know. Plus, I think you are in need of mental help if you fall in love with someone just by watching their YouTube videos. Not saying that to be rude, but to be brutally honest. What I'm trying to say is you can't come on so strong to a girl you've never met, especially a girl as young as me, and expect it to work. It's not. So he continues in the story that he was hurt that I told him if all his exes left him, it was because of him and not them. I apologize for that, because after giving it some thought, that was extremely rude of me. However, you said they abused you and all that shit, when in this story, you say they left you for "bad boys". So that means you lied to me. Huh. How interesting is that? You're a liar too. But do you think you didn't hurt me by insulting my disability? I know I never told you I was disabled, but it's still very fucked up of you to insult me by calling me "special ed" because I hurt you. Like you said in your story, you wanted to hurt me. Don't act like you cared about me for one second if that's your mentality.

So in the second chapter, he goes on to talk about my story, "The Cyanide Butcher". He said he tried to give me notes and that I took it as criticism. I never ONCE took it as criticism. I know he was trying to help me. I even told him during this time that I appreciate it and that I DIDN'T take it as criticism. But you know, he's changing up the story in his favor so that I'm the bad guy. He even said something like "If people saw the messages, then they'll see I'm not the bad guy", inferring I'm the villain here. Look, I was never mad at his critique of the story, I was mad at the point he expected all of his questions to be answered on the FIRST chapter. He even commented an entire paragraph asking these questions, as if they weren't going to be answered in future chapters. That's what made me mad. I'm sorry. That's not how stories fucking work. All your questions are not answered at once. Geez. Also, he said he's going to continue that one story I mentioned before that has my characters, whether I like it or not, because I'm not in control of your happiness. Well, the fact you're claiming you're in love with me and all, apparently my approval of you does control your happiness. You even said in like the first chapter I think that me not liking you made you suicidal. But no. I don't control your happiness. Also, the fact that you will continue your story, using my characters after I made it very clear I don't want you to, shows nothing but disrespect to me as the creator. I said no and that means to stop. It's that simple. But no. You do what you want. How disrespectful. But am I shocked? Absolutely not.

So the third chapter is basically this guy's life story. If it's true, that sucks you went through all that shit. Does that excuse for being a whiny little bitch because I don't like you? No. He says in the story that every time he opens up to someone, he gets pushed away. Look...he never opened up to anything he says he did in the story. He never told me he had a crackhead mom or an alcoholic father and that he's an ex-cocaine addict, and yadda yadda. He never said that once. He once told me he had bipolar disorder once AFTER I told him I was feeling uncomfortable with him and that he was coming way too strong by acting like I was his girlfriend. Of course anyone in my case would see it as him trying to gain sympathy from me and forgive him. "No wonder he's like that. He's bipolar". Look, I know someone who is bipolar themselves, and they are never like this. Just saying. You just want me to forgive you. You even said that in your story. Sorry. It's not happening. The fact you actually SENT me your story here on Wattpad and continued sending the chapters after I told you to leave me alone just shows you're trying to gain sympathy and forgiveness from me. How sad it is that he's a human being and that I'm the same species as him. Also, you say you're not mad at me, but you are. Why else would you be typing up your whole story? You're disgusting. Move on with your fucking life and stop constantly harassing me. Why don't you go find yourself a stable woman who can at least handle this because I'm literally at my breaking point right now. I'm fucking done and I have been for a long time.