My Diary

Entry 67

January 25, 2020
10:01 P.M.
Saturday

Two entries in a row. How did I manage that? Haha. In all seriousness though, I've been in nothing but a bad mood for the past week. Like I've been extremely easily irritable to the point that every little mean thing that has been said to me at school just made me want to smash that person's head in the wall. Like yesterday morning in math class, I saw on the board we had a quiz and I just said something along the lines "Oh, I didn't know we had a quiz today." And then this girl named Autumn had to give me fucking attitude for no fucking reason and was like "It was on your schedule in the notebook". I stayed calm though and just said "Oh, I haven't been keeping up on that lately" and then with her little "I'm better than you" attitude, she was all like "Oh, that sounds like a personal problem." My god, I just wanted to fucking punch her. And about this girl, she's ALWAYS been like that. I've known her since at least middle school and she's always been like this. Act like she's better than anyone and treat me like shit for no reason because I've been nothing but nice to her. Well, to be more clear, I don't even talk to her or communicate with her so I don't know what her fucking issue with me is. Then again, I think she speaks to everyone with her inflated ego and stuff so I don't think it's just me. But being in my very easily irritable mood, I just wanted to fucking rip her head from her shoulders. Like it was 7 in the morning and I'm already getting shitted on. Like seriously? And all I said was I didn't know we had a quiz. I wasn't whining about it or anything, I was sure I would do fine on it, I just wasn't aware. I don't know why she had to get all over me with her attitude. And the whole school was like that. Just people picking on me FOR NO APPARENT REASON, which has done nothing but fueled my irritation and anger even more. Like Jesus fucking Christ, how I wish I could just drop out of school so I don't have to waste my time with these imbeciles anymore. I'm not going to drop out because I unfortunately going to need a diploma to get anywhere in life, but I WISH. But then again, that probably means I have to deal with more of my mom and Sonny's bullshit so...either way I can't win. I'm miserable no matter what. God, I hate everything.

So I'm also a little ticked off at the moment because Sonny's sister came here all by herself. Guess where my mom and Sonny are? At a fucking hotel. Wasting money at a fucking hotel. Like are you fucking serious? So I'm stuck in an apartment with some woman I don't know with no dinner or anything at all to eat and yadda yadda so they can go and have sex in a hotel room? Are you fucking for real? And why the fuck is his sister here? I don't want her here. I don't know who she is. This is nothing but bullshit. God, I'm so fucking angry I can barely type right now. FGDYFDTRFHGDUYFYTDWHJ. That's how I feel. I AM SO PISSED OFF.

Anyway, I'm probably going to quiz YouTube. I just don't think I'm in the right mental space to do so. I know on my last video, I said I wasn't going to quiz but...I think I am. I'm officially done with YouTube. I know I'm going to have to post a YouTube video saying I'm done because not all my subscribers follow me here, but I'm done. No more YouTube. I'll probably post the video tomorrow. I think it's a little too late to post in the night now. But yeah, no more YouTube from me. I'm done.