My Diary

Entry 151

March 20, 2022
5:56 A.M.
Monday

It's 6 in the morning and I'm still awake...if that doesn't show how fucked up my sleep schedule is, I don't know what does. I'll sleep after this because I have to be in work by 2 P.M. Anyway, my mom continues to just get on my nerves but what's new?? So it's been a month since my younger brother has been here in Florida. And guess what? My mom has not signed him up for school! That's right. He's not getting any kind of education whatsoever right now. He's just sitting in his room playing video games all day. Like does this bitch not give a fuck about his future or something?? She gets annoyed every time I bring it up, but unlike you, I actually care about his future. I want him to be happy and independent one day. He's not going to get that without a highschool education! And of course, he's not saying anything about it to her because he doesn't want to do any schooling. For some reason, he has this belief that he "doesn't need highschool". Like um...yes you do! Most jobs aren't going to hire you if you don't got a highschool diploma! I keep telling him that, but he's as stubborn as a mule. It's no used trying to get through to him. It just upsets me that this is his mindset. He's just setting himself up to have an unhappy future. And my mom's not fucking helping! I mentioned it to her last night and she said she hadn't done it because she's been working every day for the past week. Okay, well, we work literally not even 10 minutes away from the highschool. Not even that, she gets off at work at the same time the highschool lets out! It's basically convenient for her to go straight from work to the highschool to get him signed up for school. My younger brother tried to blame himself for not getting onto her more for getting him signed up, but like...she should of already had him signed up! He shouldn't have to tell her to sign him up. She should just do it because that is her responsibility as her mother. Like my brain is not functioning right now. I feel like I'm just being such a hardass bitch because I keep going on and on about it but I just care about my younger brother. I want him to have a chance to have a successful future and I would hate him for him to lose that chance because our incompetent mother refuses to sign him out of school. I honestly can't tell if she's just lazy or she just doesn't care. Probably a combination of both. I'm just so riled up. I didn't think I'd have to yell at my mother to get her own son signed up for highschool.

Also, all my mom does is go out drinking (that hasn't changed at all!) So we were playing darts and afterwards, she had to take the envelope with our scores, etc. to one of the bars to drop it off in the box for the dart envelopes. So we were about to leave and then she's all like "Can you take your brother home because I have to drop this envelope off?" Um...soooo??? She lives not even 10 minutes away from the bar. It is real easy for her to just drop it off then go home. She thinks I'm as naive as I used to be. I'm not. No, she wanted me to give my younger brother a ride home so she could go drop the envelope at the bar and sit there and drink. How about instead of sitting at the bar drinking all day and night, how about you spend some time with your son you haven't seen in 5 damn years?? Oh wait, she's supposed to be working this morning. Wouldn't it be more ideal to go home and get sleep before you have to work (because it was almost midnight at this point). She constantly complains how she's tired all the time, but it's her own damn fault. Stop drinking until like 2 in the morning and only sleep for like 3 hours! It's her fault! She has no one else to blame! It just pisses me off. She wants to go on about how my dad treated my younger brother like shit, which he is 100% did. But like I said, you rather sit at the bar all fucking day instead of spend any time with her son she hasn't seen or even talked to...in 5 YEARS. She really just doesn't care, does she? I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm currently on the lookout for my own place and if I can find a place, I'll get my younger brother to live with me because unlike our mother, I will actually take care of him and care for him. He shouldn't have to be my responsibility, but I'm stuck driving him around all the time anyway because my mom rather go out drinking instead so I'm kinda am already responsible for him. She clearly isn't going to responsible and someone needs to be and I suppose that someone is gonna have to be me. I just can't with this fucking woman. I hate my life.