My Diary

Entry 80

May 6, 2020
2:02 P.M.
Wednesday

Wow, I didn't even know the day of the week until I checked my cellphone for that. Sad, isn't it? Anyway, I'm going to be completely honest with y'all....I have barely done any of my online work for school. I have only taken one quiz and that's it. I only have until the end of the month to do it or I'm fucked. Ugh, I hate myself. I knew I was going to be lazy and I told myself I wouldn't be so when I tell myself that, I just lack the motivation to start. Ugh, I'm terrible. I haven't even started on economics. It got so bad that one of the assistant principals actually called my older brother about it. Which I find weird. Why my older brother and not my mom? I mean I doubt my mom would care if they did call her, but it's still weird they called my older brother about it instead of her. So yesterday morning, he called me asking me what the fuck was going on and I told him the truth. I'm a lazy slob who's lacking motivation to do anything. He asks me why I'm lacking motivation and I didn't know what to tell him. I just am. I'm a human disaster, that's all there is to me. But somehow the conversation turned to my plans after highschool and how I can finally be able to move out away from my mom and Sonny. And then now, he says he's going to visit me by the end of the week. Like what the fuck? Why? You don't need to do that. He wants my room clean too when he gets here too. I know he wants the best for me, but I don't get why my room needs to be clean. I'm so confused. He says it's one of the first steps for me about getting a job. Like what? Is my boss going to come to my room and check if it's clean? I don't get it. Maybe I'm just dumb. And now he's going to get my granddaddy to teach me to drive since my mom won't and this was all just so unexpected. I'm not ready. Whatever. Maybe I should stop ranting and just do my damn online work. Get a couple quizzes out the way. After all, they only want the quizzes and tests done so I should just do those. Can't be too many, right? Ugh. I hate my life.