𝑳𝒆𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒅𝒚| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 2

Fight Myself For Her

Leon POV:

My eyes burst open, immediately I'm checking for danger, searching for a theat that I know isn't there. I look beside me, seeing my wife curled up facing me, her face peaceful as she lightly snores. I almost smile, even after the nightmares she's here to remind me what I fought for and the reason why I wake up, but even that brings the fears I often battle with.

Am I good enough for her?
Am I just broken goods latching onto her strength?
Do I even deserve to be here?

I shut down that train of thought as quick as it came, my mouth waters for a drink of something to ease the pain, but then I remember my promise to my wife, so instead I stand up and tuck the covers back over her, then head downstairs and into the garden. Here I can finally drop the act of being okay, here I can let my eyes well up with tears as my mind shows me glimpses of the people I couldn't save.

The people I failed.

I hear footsteps behind me, I turn to see my wife rubbing her eyes sleepily, she's wearing one of my jackets over her as she shivers but still comes outside, as soon as she sees me she stops. "What're you doing up?" She asks so innocently. Fuck, I love her so much.

"Just getting some air." I mumble, she knows I'm holding back but she doesn't pressure me, instead she climbs between my legs and wraps her arms around my middle as I pull her as close as I can, my arms rubbing hers to try keep her warm.

"Don't let go of me yet." I whisper, her hands cling around me tighter as if I'll slip away if she lets go. I close my eyes, forcing myself to not fall apart right now, I don't think she could deal with my self destruction again. I take steady breaths, then even lean down and rest my chin on her soft head, wrapping my legs around her.

I fight myself for her.
I'm still here for her.
I live for her.

I repeat my mantra until I finally can open my eyes again, I look down to see her staring up at me, her teeth catch on her lip as she chews it worriedly, a habit she didn't have until me.

"I love you Leon," she quietly says, "and I know you're struggling more than you let on, it's okay to cry, or be upset," she swallows as of holding back tears, "you can tell me anything and I'd never judge you for it."

I nod, cupping her face as a tear falls. It hurts more than anything, knowing I'm the reason she's crying. My jaw tenses, my teeth ache from holding myself together, I refuse to fall apart even if she allows it, I'm stronger than this. "I love you so much, and I know you worry about me, which is weird because I'm supposed to be worrying about you," I smile to help her believe me, "but trust me, I'm okay as long as you're here."

She nods as I lean down to press a kiss to her lips, immediately I'm home and feel safe, it's only a temporary reprieve but I'll take it, it's enough to ail me for tonight. "Let's get you upstairs before you turn into an ice cube." I mumble, scooping up her body as her arms wrap around my neck, I close the door and head back upstairs, then slip her into bed. However, she tugs down and pulls me on top of her, I lean onto my palms to keep from crushing her.

"What're you doing sweetheart?" I can't help but chuckle, even more so when he wraps her legs around me and I end up laying on top of her, my head on her chest where I can hear my lifeline beating.

"I'm hugging you, don't move away I'm warm." She mumbles into my neck, I smile and relax, shifting slightly to get comfy and pull the covers over us. Her hands find my hair and begin playing with it, reluctantly I like it, and my eyes close as she breathes steadily.

"I'm so glad I found you." I whisper as she pauses, after a second she continues with one hand as the other strokes my cheek.

"We found each other."