𝑳𝒆𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒅𝒚| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 2

September 30th

"We should start a new TV show, something long so we can binge watch it?" I smile. It's my fourth activity suggestion of the night and I think Leon's beginning to catch on to what I'm doing. It's September 29th, the day before Leon's traumatising anniversary. I'm trying to tip toe around it, be gentle since I know it's a tough time, but I'm out of ideas.

"Sure." Leon mumbles, settling on the sofa with me as he wraps an arm around my shoulders, I tuck my feet up and begin flicking through some options until we finally settle on a comedy show. The episodes begin and every now and then I glance up at Leon's face, trying to analyse his emotions. He laughs occasionally but something doesn't feel right, he's tense. Forced.

"Any reason you keep watching me?" He murmurs after a while. My eyes widen in surprise at being caught, but then I shrug seeing no reason to lie.

"Just seeing if you're okay." I say a little higher pitched than usual. Have a made a mistake? Reminded him of the date? Made him feel weak?

"I'm not glass Y/N, I'm not gonna shatter or fall apart, I know what's going on."

I sigh, then climb onto his lap to straddle him as I wrap my arms around his neck, his hands find my waist as I scan his face for any signs of a breakdown. "I know, I just...I can't believe it's the anniversary already, it feels so long ago now." I softly say, avoiding his eyes as I stare at his neck. He nods, stiffening a little.

"It's just a date though, I can't let it get to me." He replies, voice hardening as if he's trying to disconnect himself from the past, but I know him better. Even if he doesn't want to feel or think about it, he will. It was a massive event for him. Life changing. And it also terrified him more than he lets on.

I can't take away his pain or memories, but I can be there for him and let him know he's not alone. I cup his face, giving him a small reassuring smile. "I'll always be here for you. Now, ready for bed, my eyes are beginning to hurt." I brush off, changing the touchy subject.

Leon shakes his head but leans forward, pressing his lips to mine in a quick peck. "Not yet. You go ahead though, I'll be there soon." He mumbles. I purse my lips together but nod, then climb off and begin getting ready for bed. I slip under the covers and wait. And wait. And wait.

At least two hours pass until I give up trying to sleep, I get up to find most of the lights out apart from the lamp in the living room. Leon sits on the sofa in his spot, staring at the blank TV with a glass of water beside him. Whilst I'm not glad I was right about his feelings, I'm glad I prepared myself for it. I make my presence known before leaning over Leon from behind, gently I begin to massage his shoulders as he lets out a long breath. "Why aren't you in bed yet?"

He's quiet for a moment, contemplating his answer until he huffs. "It's stupid but... I feel like if I don't go to sleep then tomorrow will never come."

"I know, but it doesn't work like that." I murmur, biting back a sigh as he places his hands over mine, giving them a squeeze. As if changing his mind Leon stands and hooks an arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to bed.

"Lets get some sleep." He says, but he doesn't sound so sure...

We sleep, and when we wake up on September 30th, the atmosphere is off. Leon's quieter than usual, getting on with his work silently despite me telling him to take the day off. He's less affectionate, hardly touching me as he keeps himself to himself, shutting himself in his office almost all day.

At around six I pull him out of his office, not literally but pleadingly, and he finally comes to sit with me on the sofa. I put on the show we started watching but Leon's not paying attention. He's stiff as a board, staring blankly at the screen without really focusing. I glance at the time, cringing at the memories Leon's reliving in his head. I slowly take his hands in mine, earning his gaze as he blinks at me.

"It was around this time I stopped at the gas station," he begins somberly, "I met Claire soon after, along with the first of the infected. God that night...I never knew how scared a person could be until I experienced it myself. The death. The failure. The betrayals. I can't-" He breaks off with a shuddery breath, clenching his fists. My lip wobbles but I force myself to keep calm, I've got to.

I wrap my arms around him, pulling him to my chest. Leon allows me to hug him, he relaxes slightly as he leans on me, both of us half laying down as he buries his face into my chest, my arms holding him close as he takes short breaths, attempting to keep the panic at bay. I rub his back soothingly, shushing him and telling him he's okay.

"Damn it, I thought I got over this." He grumbles, sounding pissed off at himself. I begin to stroke his hair, knowing that usually helps when he has sleepless nights.

"It's okay. You're safe and deserve to be here. You're allowed to feel and remember the past, but it doesn't define you." I whisper. Eventually the panic subsides and he sits up again, rubbing his eyes before letting out a long breath.

Leon stands, heading for the kitchen where he grabs a glass of water shakily and then reaches for some sleeping pills I know they're for emergencies anyway, nights when the guilt is too much or the nightmares feel to real. I let it slide for today, standing with an outstretched hand when he turns around once again. He takes it, following my lead as we head back to the sofa, laying down once again as I rest a blanket over both of us.

I press play on the show again, running my hands through his hair as his breathing begins to even out after twenty minutes. I don't sleep though, my eyes find the clock every hour, wondering what Leon was going through so many years ago this night. He'd told me about the welcome sign, the undead officers and the monsters in the labs. The treacherous spy and the untrustworthy scientists.

As I look down at Leon's peaceful sleeping face, I feel a sense of pure astonishment for my brave man and the horrors he's endured. He could have left Claire and Sherry, he could have done so many things to escape the plagued memories, but instead he continued to fight, even when the monsters were sometimes the ones in his head. For that, I know he's a true hero and survivor.

I fall asleep after midnight, when the anniversary is over and we can once again let the burden be forgotten for another year. I wake up in bed, with Leon beside me and the morning light shining through the curtains. Leon's awake, smiling softly at me as I frown but snuggle closer to him anyway.

"Ready for another day?" He sleepily asks, sounding much lighter than last night and the day before. I nod, and just like that we're back to our own version of normal.