𝑳𝒆𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒅𝒚| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 2

Desserts and Deserting

I frown as I look to the door of Leon's office. Sometimes when he gets back from a mission he'll take a few days to recover, not just physically but emotionally too. He'll be quieter, maybe less affectionate until he feels at home again, but this time something feels different.

When he came home from Spain a few days ago he was so on edge. The usual small smile or shower together was replaced by a side hug and him sleeping a whole thirteen hours in his office. I take a deep breath, refusing to let his newfound isolation pull us apart, especially since we've been dating for three years now. I know his moods just as much as he knows mine, so I'm determined to bring him back home just like I have the numerous other times before.

I knock on his door, only getting silence in return. I knock again, worried that maybe he's passed out or ill, or even something worse. Still no response. I grab the door handle and begin to open it, but suddenly the door is yanked open almost dragging me with it. I catch myself before I fall, coming face to face with a ragged Leon. His hair is messy and his eyes just look so...lost.

"What?" He demands, narrowing his eyes as he glares down at me. My own eyes widen from the offish tone, he's never snappy like this with me, and even on the few instances he has been, he almost immediately apologises after. I wait a few seconds, but Leon just crosses his arms as if waiting for my reply.

I clear my throat, all of a sudden feeling embarrassed. "I...I was thinking of making something nice for us, but I couldn't decide between a chocolate cake or an apple pie?" I smile weakly.

Leon looks at me as if I'm crazy. His brows raise before he huffs and shakes his head, backing away and already heading to close the door. "Do what you want." He gruffly says, then I'm met with the click of the door shutting. I stand dumbfounded for a few seconds, then blinking away some stupid tears I figure an apple pie might cheer him up considering it's his favourite.

I get to work baking, something I picked up after dating Leon. He's a foodie, and the way to his heart I learnt was truly through his stomach. It doesn't take long until it's almost ready to come out of the oven, just as I open the oven door Leon finally comes out of his office. Dumbly as I reach into the oven I look away for a split second, then a sharp pain laces across the top of my arm. I curse and grab the apple pie, putting it on the cooling rack and immediately turning on the cold tap.

"Shit, that pie better be worth it." I joke, looking to Leon as he grabs his keys from the counter, only briefly glancing at me. I frown, usually he acts like I'm dying when I hurt myself, a papecut almost sends him into cardiac arrest.

"Be more careful if you're gonna do that shit." Leon mumbles, then louder he calls out "I'm going out."

I turn the tap off and rush to him, grabbing his arm as he heads for the front door of our shared apartment. "Wait! I thought maybe we could have some pie and watch that new show you were talking about-" I begin, but Leon stiffens and shakes his head. He walks forward letting my arm drop but I refuse to give up.

"Okay, maybe we can head out together, we could go see a movie or maybe try out that new restaur-" I don't get to finish as Leon turns on his heel and prowls to me, my lips part as he reaches out a hand and cups my cheek softly. At first I lean into the touch, but when he leans down and whispers to me my heart shatters.

"I don't want to be here with you, don't you get it? Just fucking stop trying with me, because it isn't working."

My bresth hitches as my eyes fill with tears. Leon doesn't wait for them to fall, he shoves his keys into his pocket and leaves without another word. As soon as he's gone I finally break down, only just making it to the bedroom before I sob and clutch his pillow, but inhaling his scent only makes me cry harder.

Leon never used to be like this, it's like every mission he goes on rips a piece of him away, and I can't do anything to stop the man I love from turning into a shell of himself.

Leon comes home only a few hours later, but I do everything I can to avoid him. I'd already cooked and eaten a simple dinner, leaving Leon some in the microwave which I hear heat up at some point. When he comes into the bedroom to change I mutter I'm going to take a bath, and lock the door so he can't join me. At night I sleep uncomfortably away from him on my side, using extra blankets so I don't have to share with him. In the morning I'm glad he doesn't seek out his office again, but at the same time it makes things weird, so I waste time doing cleaning and sorting through some old clothes and things, anything to avoid him.

A few days of no touches and little speaking pass, until one evening I'm staring at the floor stuck in my own head, replying Leon's harsh words to me.

'I don't want to fucking be here with you. Stop trying with me because it isn't working.'

A movie plays in the background but I'm not focused on it. Leon shuffles beside me on the sofa, I feel his blue eyes dart to mine every now and then, as if he's finally recovered himself and now he's back. A few more minutes pass until he breaks. "Y/N," he whispers sounding so regretful, when I don't answer he softly repeats it, bringing me out of my trance.

I turn and look at him, seeing that he's leaning towards me with a hand on my knee. "I- I don't deserve you," I watch as he swallows, "and I shouldn't have you, everything I've ever loved has always ended in a tragedy, and I'm just stringing you through the pain of being with me."

Fresh tears fill my eyes as I watch him take a shuddery breath. I don't know if I can do this, so I stand and head for the bedroom, I'm about to climb under the comfort of the covers until Leon gently tugs my hand. "Sweetheart-" He tries, but I snap.

"Don't call me that. You said it yourself, you don't want to be with me, and I shouldn't try anymore right?" I angrily say. Leon's eyes drop to the floor but lift as he makes his choice.

"I did say that, but I never meant I didn't want to be with you, I just needed some time alone. I love you, and I just hate that I'm so broken you feel like you've gotta look after me. I see the way you keep an eye on me, checking on me and distracting me with food and movies and damn near everything to help me forget about everything." He strongly says, clutching my hand to his chest as my lip wobbles.

"I'm so fucking sorry for what I said, I didn't mean a word of it," Leon tugs me to his chest, and even as I try to pull away he wraps an arm around me, and I finally give in and relax into his muchly missed touch, "I lost a good person in Spain...and I don't know if I can keep living when everyone around me keeps dying." His voice cracks.

I wrap my arms around him, feeling him shake slightly as he gently sways. I take a deep breath to regain my voice. "If I could take all the pain away you know I would, I'm so sorry you have to keep fighting when god knows you deserve to live in peace." I shakily say. Leon rubs my back, leading us to sit on the bed.

Leon nods, linking our fingers together. One look between us and he knows he's forgiven, and that we love each other just as much as we did last year, or even the year before. "I noticed you ended up eating that pie I made." I weakly laugh, earning a small chuckle from Leon.

"I couldn't resist, besides it was the closest I could get to you. It was delicious by the way baby."

I lean my head on his shoulder, Leon kisses the top of my head as we sit together, once again good.