Slow Love

Chapter 12-Dakota Jazz Club Nite 2

I wake up Thursday morning.I'm now familiar where I am and I'm trying to figure if I'm alone or not. I roll over and yep, I'm alone. Good! Now I can get my head together for round 2 of this. Tonite is another show. I wonder what I'll wear? I have my travel little black dress and with the boots should work fine. I did look hot even though I do say so myself. Those little black dresses are a girls best friend. Well not really, he is my best friend. I just hope I can decompress all the activities of the last few of days. I really need to process it. Whew! There is a lot to process. Up till now, my biggest decision lately has been what to fix for dinner and this is a lot more than that! Ok, look around at the landscape and see if there is anything that catches your eye. Damn! There is more flowers and a card. I wonder what time it is. It's only 11:00. That's good. Plenty of time to sort out a few things. I probably should go read the card. I can't wait to see what he says now. With card in hand, I open it. Confetti in there so I managed to not broadcast it all over. It has my name on the envelope.Opening it up it says: My Dearest Love, You made last night incredibly wonderful. I cannot imagine my life with out you in it. I believe we became one soul and found our way home. I can hardly wait until tonight. We have the club and I am excited to take you there. Go see Cathy first thing. She will fill you in on the details of  today. Love, P

Well, I was hoping for some of the day alone to sort out some of this. I guess not! I may as well get a shower and get dressed. Gosh, I hope she is not making any more clothes for me. She is such a sweet person, I hate to have all this attention to my wardrobe. I will be fine with what I brought with me. I may need to make a quick trip for a couple pieces to finish up an outfit. Well, better get moving and see what she has for me. I am so, so confused right now, I really need to clear my head and have time to get my head on straight.

OK, dressed and off to see Cathy. I get to wardrobe and she's working on something. I call to her and she looks up and motions for me to come on back. As I get close, I see she is working on an original design. It is really pretty. She says sit. So I have to brace myself and here it comes. He has me making this for you. I look at her and say, this is way too much. She shakes her head and says, won't be ready for tonight. OK ,so when? She says later but I have to get this started because I'm taking you shopping for tonite. Shopping, great! That will clear my head. Love to go shopping and it will help clear my head. Best therapy I could have thought of. I hope I can find a some things to finish up a couple outfits I have, I told her. She said, 'no, no honey. He has given me instructions and told me where to take you.' Alright then, here we go. I ask her where are we going shopping? She told me we have an appointment at 1:00 with a local designer. OH CRAP! Now what? I say, 'he does not need to do this. I can wear what I have and it will be perfectly fine.' She shook her head no. It is now about noon. I ask, 'so when are we leaving?'  She said, " here in a couple minutes and we'll grab some lunch on the way." She then looks up and says, "I want to hear all about last nite!" I say, 'I was wondering what was taking you so long to ask.' We both burst out laughing. She says, 'go get your purse and we'll take off.'  So, we go out and she is driving me. She is about to bust at the seams. I could tell she could hardly wait to find out about last night. I said, 'Cathy, you are probably my best friend but some of this is private between him and I. Do you understand?' She shook her head yes. She then said, 'honey, just tell me what you want to. I am just dying to hear anything'. I proceeded to tell her the sanitized version. You know like him giving me the Diamonds and Pearls, the band greeting us at dinner, the shows, the part where he privately sung to me on stage in the back, the walk in the park. You know the basic version. She looked at me and said, "So when are you getting married?" I totally lost it and bust out crying and sobbing. Thankfully, we were at the cafe to eat lunch so she parked and thought it was a joyful cry but then soon realized it was not. She pulled me over trying to console me thinking something really bad happened. She got her big mama voice and said, "Did he hurt you?" I shook my head, no. She then said, 'so what's this all about then?' Well, I finally had to tell her some more. I still tried to keep the private things as private as I could without fully disclosing that. She said, 'Honey, he loves you. Why can you not understand that?'  I told her that it was just happening so fast and I was having my doubts. She said, 'come on,let's eat and talk about it.' So we went inside and got seated. We pick an area that was fairly vacant so prying ears could not hear. Ordered our food and had it delivered to the table and I then proceeded to tell her, 'I just don't know about all this. It is over whelming to me and I am really scared.' She cocked her head to the side and said,  'why is that?'  I said, "Cathy, you know how independent I am and he is smothering me. How can this work out long term? I went on to say, I need my space and to be honest, I do not think I can keep up sexually with him. It is just so, so intense." Then she asked, "did he propose to you?" I said, well, not really trying to keep private what was said, and then I could not hold the tears back any longer. I just muttered and blubbered over and over, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. This is just not what I was prepared for when I agreed to come up here. This all happened out of the blue so quickly and it is just too much for me to process what to do." I went on, " he is showering me with gifts and he is so sincere with what we are talking about, I just don't want this feeling to stop. it is all confusing me greatly." Cathy then said, "I know part of what you are thinking. You know what has happened in the past and you are afraid it is going to happen to you, right?"I nodded yes. She continued to say, "Do you believe in God." I shook my head yes, she then said, "Do you trust God?" I shook my head yes again. She said, "then there is your answer. Trust God". I took a breath and said, 'You are right. I just need it to slow down and let my head catch up as it is spinning out of control'. She said, "then tell him. He is in love with you Gigi. I have never seen him so happy and devoted to any other woman. I can see it all over his face, his actions and the way he looks at you and treats you. He is truly in L-O-V-E. You just need to tell him what you need right now and I'm sure he will understand." I agreed with her to talk to him. I then said, "I know how persuasive he can be but I need to do this on my time."  She said, "Tell him so. He will understand." She then confessed that he confided in her that he was hoping he did not scare you. She then told me, she also told him to talk to me. I said, "But Cathy, we both know him all to well, that is not how he operates and we both know it." She said,  'G, just talk to him. You trust him don't you? He is so different than he was before you came. I have witnessed first hand the affect you have had on him. I have seen how he looks at you and I have never seen that look before. He loves you and I think he's just as scared too as he has never been this close to anyone before. You two have built this unconditional love over nearly 30 years, who else does he have that with? Who else do you have that with? That is pure love from the heart. Your hearts are speaking to you both. Listen to your heart and trust each other. You both trust God, put your trust in him to guide you together down that path where ever it might lead. I know you both and you will be happy." I said, "OK Cathy, I'm going to take your advise. I do feel better.I just hope I can follow through with all this. I have to take this where it leads. Thank you for pointing all this out to me. You are a Best Friend Forever." She then says, " OK, you know now what to do and do it. We have to leave now to get to that appointment." I said, 'OK, let's roll'.