Slow Love

Surgery Day

Beep, Beep, Beep, the alarm goes off. I roll out of bed, go to the bathroom, get ready and  dressed. I look in the bedroom, and he's gone. Where the heck is he?I get my purse, my bag and go out to the living room. There he is,decked out head to toe. He's got ants in his pants and acts like a kid getting ready to go to Disneyland. God, how does he have that much energy this early in the morning? He greets me "Good Morning Love." I'm like OK, what's good about it but I have to be nice and  I reply, "Good Morning Sweetheart." He asks me if I'm ready. I nodded yes. We go out and head for the car. Kirk is waiting and takes our bags. Prince helps me into the car and we take off. He leans forward and taps Kirk's shoulder. Kirk, says, got' em ready boss. He puts on his headphones and here it comes. He takes my hands into his and says to me, "Gigi, I love you with my whole heart, my soul, my mind and my body. Just remember, you are holding my heart and nothing will happen to you today. I'm not going to leave you. OK?" I look into his eyes and tears start to leak out and I  just cannot hold them back. He puts his arms around me and I whisper in his ear, "I know, please pray for me." He says, "I'll be praying until they get you back to me." He just holds me until we arrive. Kirk announces,we are here. He gets our bags out of the trunk and Prince helps me out. We go in and are whisked off to the suite.The nurse directs me to put my things over there and the bathroom.She lays a surgical gown on the bed. She then tells me to take everything off and put that on. She informs me they will be back to prep me for surgery. He puts his stuff away and he has a separate bathroom so he puts his stuff in there. I put my stuff away and go into the bathroom to get ready.  I come out and he is siting on the sofa watching CNN. Good, he has his back to me. I crawl in bed and wait. He comes over and kisses me. Tells me everything will be OK,don't worry.  Mentally, I'm in the zone. I tried to respond, but I could not. Shortly, the nurses come in and chase him out. They prep me for surgery. The Dr comes in and talks to me. He has me stand draws the lines they are going to cut. He tells me, relax every thing is good. He helps me back into bed. He leaves and Prince comes back in. He stands by the bed holding me and comforting me. He sings to me as he brought a MP3 player and his music is permeating the room. The pre-op shot they gave me has kicked in and I'm very relaxed at this point. I give him my symbol ring to hold until I get back. He puts on his finger. He kisses me and I could just go off to sleep. Next thing I know, they are here to take me to surgery. As they wheel me down, he is right there holding my hand tightly and telling me he loves me. Quickly they reach a point he has to say goodbye. He kisses me and tells me he will see me soon. I go on in. The anesthesiologist hooks me up and I am gone. I hear singing and wonder did I die? Then I feel pain. Nope, I'm in recovery. I barely open my eyes and there he is. The pain is excruciating. He is holding my hand. It is pulsating thru me and hurts. I try to speak and nothing comes out. He is smiling and I try to pull my hand away. I moan and cry in pain. He then realizes something is not right. I finally get a whisper out, don't touch me. He went over to the nurses station. I could see him talking to them,  but I could not hear them. My head was pounding. One of the nurses comes over and checks my vitals. I tried to tell her about the pain. She just nods her head yes. He disappeared.  I closed my eyes and pain was so bad I could hardly breath. Told you. I knew this was coming. The nurse came back quickly and gave me a pain shot. She said, this should fix you up Mrs. Nelson. That woke me up! I went "HUH?" She said, "Mrs. Nelson it will take affect in just a few minuets."  Okay. What is that all about?  He appeared out of nowhere. He looked really worried. I was in and out of conscience-nous. I tried to speak, but my voice was just a whisper. I tried to get him to come close so I could talk to him. I was reaching my hand out to him but he would not take it. Finally, he rested his hand on the bed railing and I managed to put mine on top. It felt OK now. He put his other hand on top and took my hand with both of his and kissed it. It was all OK. He leaned in to kiss me and whispered in my ear. "Baby, you really scared me. Are you OK now?" I shook my head yes. He wraps his arm around the top of my head and pulls my hand up and kisses it and kisses my face.  I just closed my eyes and felt his warmth. The pain has subsided and I feel numb. In a little while, the nurses come over and take my vital signs and announce I can go to my room. They pull all the monitor plugs and wheel me back. All the while he does not let go of me. He still looks worried. We get to the room and they hook everything back up. I have wires and tubes coming out of everywhere. I take a sigh of relief. Next thing I know, Cathy appears. He leans over and kisses me and excuses himself. Cathy comes rushing over to me. She grabs my hand and says, "Are you alright?"I nod. I motion for her to come closer as my voice is a whisper. I said, "Did he call you?" She said, "Yes! Girl, you scared the pants right off of him. He called me and was crying as he was afraid he was going to loose you." My eyes got big, "What?" She said,"When you told him 'don't touch me' it sent him over the deep end. He said the nurses told him that you were out of your head from all the drugs, to give it some time.  He called me and was in a panic. What if it is not the drugs, what if she is mad at me, what if I loose her? He was babbling and crying like a baby G. Are you OK now?" I told her in a whisper, "Cathy, when I woke up the pain was so excruciating and all my sensory receptors were pulsating, his tight hold on my hand was just sending more pain right up my arm. I tried to warn him. I told him that it was going to be ugly." She said,  "Dear, tell him this. He is really out of his mind about it and he  will understand. I see when I got here he was holding you, so  everything looks OK now, right?"  "I think so till the next round of pain meds. It may happen again." She said, "Let me go get him. Te him that. All will be OK. Just reassure him. He needs that now." I nodded my head yes. She said, "I'll see you when you get home, bye Dear." She blows me a kiss and goes out to get him. There is a chair beside the bed. He comes in hesitantly and I motion for him to sit down. He takes the chair and I reach my hand out to him. He is really worried a he takes my hand. I told him, "Sweetheart, I love you and nothing has changed that. What happened was when I woke up I was in excruciating pain and all my sensory receptors were pulsating and exploding. Your tight hold on my hand sent more pain right up my arm to my chest. It also felt like something was sucking the air right out of me. I tired to warn you before today. It may happen again when this wears off and the next round of pain meds are due. It is just the drugs talking and not me. Please understand." He got up and put his right arm under my head around my neck still holding my hand. He kissed me and whispered in my ear, "Baby, I thought I was loosing you. You really scared me like I have never been scared before. I understand now.  The nurses tried to tell me but I did not believe them. Are you OK now?" I said, "for now I feel pretty good. No pain, just numb." He says, "Can I get in bed with you?" I shook my head yes. He goes and gets his PJ's on and crawls in the other bed right next to me. Now, I know he's going to be in the same bed with me as soon as he figures it out. There are some advantages to being a smaller guy. He reaches his hand out for mine and it is really hard to span that width. My arm hurts and I can't reach too far from the surgery. He looks at me and says, "Baby, are you OK if I go out for a couple minutes? I nodded my head yes. So he puts his robe on and heads out the door. He is back quickly and I say, "What's that all about?"He said,  "nothing its a surprise." OK, in a few mins here comes a bigger bed. This herd of people move it in, get me in it and he is beaming ear to ear. I told you he would figure it out. That man can get whatever he wants. I wonder why they have such a big bed. Oh,probably for those skin removal surgeries for large people. Yep, that is it. I have to say, it will work out perfect for us. He gets in bed and crawls over to me. He is hesitant. I look at him and say,  "what's wrong?"   He said, "I'm afraid to touch you that I might hurt you."   I said. "Come here". I direct him just where and how to hold me. The nurse comes in with a pain pump. Yep, she hooks it up and directs me how to use it. This will hopefully keep those sensory receptors in check. She checks my vitals and monitors and says all is well and leaves. I just love having him hold me. His warmth and love can feel running thru me. It feels really good right now. Besides feeling like I've been run over by a bus, I don't have any pain. I drift off to sleepy town. I awake to what they call dinner. They bring in food trays and it consist of, tea, jello, broth and frozen gelato. I look over at him and he has spaghetti, salad and orange juice. This is the first time I am sitting upright. I look down and damn, I have boobs. He is chowing down like it is his last supper so I touch myself.   I can feel that. OK, he says, "Baby what are you doing?" Nothing gets by that man. I said, "Feeling myself, is that OK with you?" He leans over and says, "Can I watch?" I  nodded my head yes. I start to just softly feel the outer contours and just outline each breast. I could feel it. He is watching intently what I'm doing. There is a lot of padding that I suspect are bandages but I can feel it. I pick up his hand and and lay it on me and guide it like I did mine.   I could feel that too. He says, "Baby that feels so soft." I said "I know but don't get too excited.  I'm sure there is padding and bandages we are feeling but the good news is I can feel it.   I get a twinge of pain, so I look and I can hit the pain pump. All is well. I eat what they called dinner and I was still hungry.  I told him, "We may have to smuggle some food in as I am still hungry." He said, "Baby, do what they want you to do. I don't want you to get sick." The nurse comes in to check my vitals and tells me I'll get real food tomorrow if I keep that down.   Alrighty then. She tells me they will be in just after dinner to get me out of bed. WHOA! That is quick.   I said, "OK" Now, I know that is going to hurt like all bejesus.   I hope I don't pass out.   I  know he is interested in what is going on under the gown. He snuggles under the covers, and I feel his hand on my thigh. I just know he's going to go wandering. I know that look. I say, "Whatcha doin'?" He looks at me and smiles, "I just need to touch your soft skin, Baby. Are you OK?" I said, "Go ahead. I don't hurt right now." Feel all you want. Just be slow and gentle. No pressure, OK?" He shook his head. He explored every square inch. It is not like he hasn't touched me before but that did feel really good.   He looks up and says to me, "Baby that bandage on your belly is huge." I'm like, no shit! That has been all moved up to my chest. I said, "Yes I know Sweetheart and that is what hurts the most." He comes in to kiss me and his hand is on my right breast. I go, 'huh, uh. Careful'. He moves his hand down to my rib cage just below that area and that was good. The nurse knocks on the door and comes in. "Time to get up, Mrs Nelson." I shoot him my side-eye and he sheepishly looks away,  I say to him, "We need to talk about that later." So he gets out of bed and comes around to see how they get me up. She disconnects all the wires and gets the urine collection bag off the side of the bed. She says, "Are you ready?"I said,  "Not really, but OK." So she helps me get straight upright.She asks how I feel and I say, "OK" She then takes my legs and brings them over the side of the bed. She checks again and asks, How are you feeling now, Mrs Nelson?" I shoot him that look and reply,"Good". She says, move your legs a bit back and forth. I feel like Edith Ann with my legs dangling but it is good. I tell her,"Good" Another nurse comes in about now and they exchange that I'm doing well .   Now they lower the bed as low as it will go and shetells me to wiggle my butt to the edge. Now that hurt like hell. I took a deep breath and she says 'take your time'. She tells me we are only going to take a few steps and then back. I shake my head in agreement. They get under my arms to support me and here we go. I'm upright on my feet. He is over there clapping and saying, I've got this."  He steps closer and here it comes, "Come to me Baby" with open arms. So I take a step and I about pass out. The nurse says, take your time. So I take another one, and another one and I'm face to face with him. He slowly closes his arms and hugs me not to squeeze to hard. That sent chills down my spine. He tells the one nurse, I've got this. So he and the other nurse turn me around and head back. I get back to bed and she tells me how to lay back down.  He is just beaming. They hook up all the monitors and tell me to get some rest. I'm thinking, how do you think that is going to happen with him here?   I have to wonder what they were thinking about all this. They think we are married, they damn well know who he is and they are probably are wondering what rock I crawled out from under to get him to marry me.   He crawls in bed with me and comes over to kiss me. He is so excited I can walk. I look at him and say, "So what's with this Mrs. Nelson crap?" He says, "Baby it is just for appearances, don't worry about it." God love him, he is trying his best.   I put my arms around him as best I can and pull him in for a  very passionate kiss. I feel his hardness on my side and he's on his own tonight. LOL!    He says, "Baby, don't start something you can't finish." I said, "Whatever do you mean. I was  just  kissing my husband for taking such good care of me." His eyes get big and he said,"Baby what does that mean?" I said, "Don't read to much into that Mr. Nelson." as I chuckled. He just roared with laughter.  He says, "Baby, I love you so much. You are so perfect for me. I deserved that didn't I?" I said, "Yes you did" God, I love that man and he knows it.   I tell him, "I have got to get some rest like the nurses said. Can you hold me?" I hit the pain pump and he comes close and I get him where he can hold me and not hurt me. I just love his embrace. I can feel all his warmth and love pulsate through me as he kisses my face softly to sleep while humming in my ear.   I barely wake up when I hear the nurse come in to check my vital signs for the evening.  He is still humming.  She checks everything and hits the pain pump for me. As she leaves, I hear her say quietly out loud, "God love em. That's truelove."  

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