Tears In Heaven

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After sleeping a couple hours, I wake up filled with overwhelming emotions I can't shake. He appears to be sleeping soundly. I raise his arm from me and slip out of bed quietly, throwing on my robe to head downstairs. I feel the need to think, meditate and regroup. Stopping in the kitchen, I grab some juice to help with the dehydration I'm feeling. My throat is parched and my lips feel like sandpaper. 

While sipping on my drink, I sit in the living room going over everything in my head. I cannot move past this overpowering emotion of sadness engulfing me. I knew this day would come; the day I'd have to reveal this part of my past. These last couple of days have been extremely hard. I thought menopause was bad but it doesn't hold a candle to this emotional roller coaster. 

Looking over at the piano, I feel the need to lose myself in music

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Looking over at the piano, I feel the need to lose myself in music. I take a seat on the bench and play the songs that have brought me comfort in the past; Elton, Billy, Carole King, Roberta, Stevie Nicks, the Bee Gees 'How can you mend a broken heart'........ then I get to the one I needed to play.  "Tears In Heaven." 

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way
Through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please, begging please
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven  

Singing softly, I playing it over and over. It did help me feel better, as it always has in the past. I played a few others, but was drawn back to Tears In Heaven. I play looking up at the ceiling, hoping to get a handle on my emotions so I can sleep. Closing my eyes, feeling the music flow through me, I feel at peace. 

While I'm playing 'Stairway to Heaven' I feel the shock of that electric touch to my back. He whispers in my ear, "Baby, are you alright?" I nod yes. He sits next to me, stroking my back, up and down my spine in a circular motion. My eyes slowly close. Still playing, I lay my head on his shoulder absorbing the energy he transmits to me simply through his touch. He understands and connects with me on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and love whenever I am around him. I breathe him in; fresh from bed, his natural scent is intoxicating. Without words, we connect. He radiates love and calm assurance, offering me the comfort I seek. 

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