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"I'm working late tonight so don't wait up." Alice informs Hal and Betty during breakfast.
"I'm sleeping over at Veronica's anyway." Betty tells her,
"Oh, well have fun then!"
"Do you know how long exactly you'll be working?" Hal asks her.
"No, Hal, I don't know. Why?"
"Just want to know when I should be expecting you home, if I should make extra dinner and save some for you." He explains.
"If I had to guess I'd say anywhere between 11 and 12."
"I'll leave the door unlocked for you, honey." Hal smiles and she offers him a small smile in return and continues to eat her breakfast.
Much to her surprise she's off much earlier than she expected. She looks at the time and sees that it's 8:12, maybe if she's lucky she won't be eating mushy, microwaved leftovers.
When she drives home she notices a familiar parked around the corner, she doesn't think much of it though and pulls into her driveway.
She opens the front door only to find out it's unlocked. That's weird, she thinks. Hal said he would leave it unlocked for her and his car is in the driveway so he's home. She fishes her keys out from her purse and unlocks the door, letting herself in. "Hal?" She calls as she sets down her purse on the table, she gets no answer so she heads upstairs to find him.
Their bedroom door is closed but she walks right in without giving it much thought. "Hal, I thought you were going to-" she doesn't finish her sentence, instead she sees her poor excuse of a husband on top of a woman who looks vaguely familiar to her.
"Alice!" He yells, rolling off of he woman underneath him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting your adultery?"
"Alice-"
"Oh Penelope, good, I was worried he was cheating on me with some pretty young thing. I'm glad he just called in a hooker."
"Alice, stop it." Hal says through gritted teeth.
"I'm sorry? Am I insulting your fuck buddy here?"
"I'm going." Penelope says, sliding out of bed and trying to keep herself covered as much as possible. She slips on her coat and carries her clothes in her arms as she rushes out of the room.
Alice stares at Hal with her arms crossed over her chest. "Care to tell how long you've been sneaking that trollop into our bed?"
"Are you sure you want to know?"
"Please, Hal, I just walked in on you two butt naked in my bed contaminating the sheets, just tell me how long."
"Pickens day is when it started." He admits.
She scoffs. "You're a piece of shit."
"Alice-"
"Did you at least use a condom? I don't need to be contracting one her diseases."
"Of course I used a condom, Alice, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Yes. And clearly, you are."
"Can we talk about this?"
"Yeah, in court, with our divorce attorney."
"You're seriously going to divorce me?"
"Been wanting to for a while and besides you asked for it first!"
"Just think about what you're saying, honey."
"First, do not call me honey anymore. Second, I know what I'm saying," she walks towards the door. "you can have the house, I'm keeping Betty with me."
"You're not taking my children away from me!"
"It's up to them, though I know my daughters and I believe they'd choose living with me over living in a brothel with you and your dead cousin's wife." She slams the bedroom door and walks downstairs.
Grabbing her purse off the table she fishes around for her phone, quickly dialling FP's number as she walks out to her car.
"Alice? Well this is a nice surprise." He smiles into the phone. "You calling to yell at me?"
"Are you home?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Is Jughead home?"
"No, staying at Archie's for the night. Again, I ask why?"
She smiles wickedly as she starts her car. "Take off your pants, I'm coming over."
