Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

House Party [Lociet] (College AU)

I JUST FEEL LIKE DECEIT NEEDS SOME LOVE TODAY, OKAY!? He deserves it. Also I am getting a hell of a lot of Sanders Sides merch soon and I'm so freaking excited you have no idea! Enough about me, I should write now.

Also:// Lots Of profanity so beware.

STORYTIME!!!

Deceit was hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall. It's been how long since he ran away from home to attend college? Three? He changed his name to Deceit, being the uncreative little shit he is, and became a Chemistry student. OChem was torture so he thought he would come to a house party his Roommate's boyfriend was throwing to try and get drunks and loosen up. Big mistake. He fled to the bathroom and locked himself in before the entire party became one gay orgy. Virgil really knows how to pick a boyfriend, didn't he? Deceit was on his phone, doing some random algebra questions because why the fuck not, when there was a hard knock on the door. 

"Hello!? Some of us have to pee!"

Deceit rolled his eyes. He knows better than anyone else that this house has two bathrooms. He comes here all the time, or used to. Virgil used to be scared to be alone with Remy so he did bag him to come with him. Deceit never minded and just studied. Deceit closed out the math practice app and went to YouTube. He instsntly went to a specific video and turned his volume all the way up. Deceit slowly walked over to the door, trying to make as little noise as possible, and be pressed play in the video.

"I'm having my period!"

The feline voice shrieked. Deceit tried not to snicker as he turned the phone onto silent and closed out the YouTube app. 

"Take your time honey."

Deceit almost fell to the ground holding in his laughter. He almost dropped his phone and flung his free hand to cover his mouth. To be honest he was surprised that bullshit worked. He thought that only worked in broadway musicals! Just ask George Salazar. Either way, Deceit was alone in the bathroom again. Deceit sat back down on the cointernnext to the sink and opened up his little algebra problems. You'd call him crazy, but it's a pattern. All he was doing was manipulating equations to isolate a variable. It's more fun when you don't have any numbers at all. If he gets bored with these equations he was going to move on to literal equations. That's the stuff you gotta do in OChem anyways. What's OChem? Organic Chemistry.

About fifteen minutes pass and Deceit was getting bored with literal equations. Why was he doing math at a house party? He must be drunk. He only had five cups of whiskey. He has a high alcohol intolerance for reasons he'd rather not disclose. Deceit groaned and turned off his phone  completely bored with it. Lucky for him, plot confidence struck. There was another knock at the door. It was a different voice than the first one. 

"Pardon, is anyone in there? I need to escape from this madness and lust."

Wow, someone honest. That's hard to find in college. Deceit hopped off the counter, leaving his phone there. Deceit opened the bathroom door, wearing his most bored expression. Deceit showed no emotion when he saw potinetially the most attractive male in the world. He had intellegant eyes and a hunger pangs frame. His fringe fell over his glasses in a messy frizz, his black shirt was wrinkled, and his blue necktie was almost in a knot. Who knows what this poor man was subjected to out there? Deceit's been in here well over an hour so he wouldn't know. Deceit stepped off to the side. The man silently walked in. Deceit closed the door behind him and locked it so nobody could get in. Well, nobody could get in without a bobby pin. Deceit turned to the guy and decdied to make some fun out of a shitty situation.

"Welcome to the bunker. No smoking, no alcohol, and most importantly: no fuckin lunatics. Make yourself at home."

Deceit counted it as a personal victory when he got the guy to snicker. He had some hineyglow in his cheeks. He must have had a few shots or so. You can't go to one of Remy's House Parties without getting drunk off your ass.