Sanders Sides Boiz Oneshots

Choose Me! [Moceit] (Boyfriends AU)

Last of the deceit ships woooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I had trouble thinking of something so I turned to PokemonGladion for answers. She did not disappoint and I love her so much. If you like pokemon, go follow her. She's the sweetest thing.

STORYTIME!

There is a time where every man must tackle a problem, and this was definitely the time for Patton and his lovely Agender lover. We love representation, don't we? I know -JustAnEditor- loves the Agender representation. They're awesome. Go follow them. But yeah, the panromantic and Agender partners were in the animal shelter. Patton was running around like a nutcase, fanboying over all the cute animals, while DeeDee was just letting a snake coil around their arm with a lizard on their shoulder. DeeDee was growing attached to the two reptiles as Patton ran back to them holding yet another fuzzy mammal.

"OMG Dee Dee this one is, like  super cute! They're also super young and are potty trained and fuzzy and isn't too loud at night cAN WE ADOPT THIS ONE PLEASE!?"

Dee turned around to see whatever animal their boyfriend was carrying and begging about again. Patton goes through the same speech but different per animal so Dee would agree. The two had set persmoters on what kind of animal they wanted to bring into their home. Patton said they have to be cuddly and cute and NOT a spider. That last one is kinda specific, but their buddy Virgil brought up the idea of a pet tarantula and Patton Nope'd out of there real quick. DeeDee has a personal vendetta against birds and little rodent pets so that's a no. That left dogs, cats, turtles, aquatic things that Dee isn't too interested in, and reptiles. And DeeDee was all for reptiles.... and cats. Cats are quiet. There's also personality stuff but we've talked too much for one paragraph. Time for some dialogue.

"Patton. That Chihuahua is pregnant. Look at the little nips on their body. We both agreed that we can't take care of newborn pets or more than one. It's sinply not in our budget with you doing volunteer work. You'd have to get a job if you want to even think about housing multiple pets."

Patton soghed, slumping over and walking away. Secretly, he was hoping his significant other wouldn't really notice that the dog was pregnant. He just wanted an excuse to adopt as many pets as possible. He knew after DeeDee got out of college and as soon as he got out of Student Teaching at the local middle school they'd have enough money you house a million and one pets. But now isn't that time. Patton retreated back into the room with all the cute doggies and kitties. Patton is a huge dog lover, but he doesn't mind cute kitties. He gets a runny nose around them. He can't imagine why. Plus their claws are kinda scary. Patton was trying to steer away from cats, but he can't seem to find the right dog for his enbyfirned. Yes, that is misspelled. I don't care this time if you yell at me in the comments. I'm too lazy to fix it and I actually got really upset when people corrected me even though you could tell what it meant. I'm sensitive okay! 

Meanwhile, DeeDee was just awing at the snake that had made it all the way up their arm and is trying to explore their body with its tiny noodle body. It's only a corn snake. Anything bigger would probably scare their precious boyfriend. The last thing Dee wants is their boyfriend to be scared. The lizard hopped off their shoulder. Dee was about to go find Patton when Patton decided to find them first. Patton was carrying another doggo. However that doggo was a baby Corgi and nobody can resist a puppy Corgi. 

"DeeDee, this is Cookie. She's been separated from her brother Cream when he was adopted. She came in a litter of seven and is the last one here. Can we please please PLEASE be the one that gives her a happy home? She deserves it and she's sick. I bet we can nurse her back to health! Together!"

Patton had those Steven Universe stars in his eyes. Dee looked down at the Corgi, who seemed absolutely miserable. Cookie stared back at them, as if begging for them to take the pain away. The little corn snake flicked its tongue as it continued to wrap around DeeDee's shoulder just to flex. Patton knew that they were a sucker for sad stories like that. Dee sighed, pinching the end of the snake's tail and uncoiling the tiny noodle boi from their arm. He had been guilt tripped onto adopting a Black and White Corgi named Cookie.

"Yes, however there is one thing I want to see first. Please set the dog down, my darling."

Patton squee'ed like the little fanboy he was and set the sick little doge on the ground. The pup instantly sanke down, resting her chin on the cold cement floor. After Dee returned the snek to its rightful place, they sat in front of the dog and simply stared at them. The dog watched as they waved their hand around and made Patton do distractions. The doggo stayed focused and quiet. Maybe it was because she was sick, maybe it was something else, but that is something that Dee requires in a pet: The ability to stay calm and quiet. They simply nodded and Patton sprang up, jumping around and about. The dog finally lifted her head from the cement, happy that Patton was happy. She probably didn't understand what was going on, but that's cool. She's going to understand as soon as she gets in the car to go home with the happy couple.

"Are you both ready to adopt Cookie Into your home?"

A teenager with a warm smile and dyed blue hair entered the room with the two. Protectively, Dee took the dog into their lap. Patton nodded violently and followed her into the other room to do paperwork. Dee sighed and picked up the dog. Wow, she's surprisingly light. They definitely need to change that once they get her home.

Welcome, Cookie, to the Sanders family.

1034 Words

I'm so tired and in a lot of pain. I'm sorry this was short and horrible. I had my championship game tonight and it went bad. It's eleven at night and I need to sleep, but I just can't. 

So... goodnight. I love you guys. 

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖

~Eva