My Diary

Entry 1

December 22, 2018
12:15 A.M.
Saturday

So I just made the dumbest move ever. I was talking to my mom, when I decided to poke her by her eye to be funny because she was looking at her phone screen. She then started yelling at me because apparently I poked her in the eyeball (which is so untrue, by the way) and that it hurt. I apologized, but at the same time I was poking myself the same place I poked my mom and I was fine. She claimed her eye was watering up while mine didn't. It probably doesn't count doing it to yourself. But after the whole thing, she was like "You want to help me make some food?" to me and first off, it was like almost midnight. No, I don't want to make food at fucking midnight. Secondly, you just yelled at me for supposedly poking you in the eye, which I apologized for, but whatever. But of course, this gave me an attitude and she started yelling at me for always having an attitude with her even though I didn't before she started yelling at me, but whatever. I always have an attitude. And then she had the nerve to say she was taking time out of her sleep schedule to hang out with me, as if spending time with me is like a chore. I told her it was fine if she had work because I'm not going to get mad about her making money to support me and the house than spending time with me. But guess where 90% of that money goes to? Alcohol. And all she does is get drunk and she laughs about being an alcoholic like it's a fucking joke, when it isn't. Like one day, she's going to have liver or kidney failure or something, or get DUI ('cause she drives drunk a lot) and I'm going to be fucked. She has yet to teach me how to drive (even though I am 17 years old) so I don't have a license so of course, I don't have a job. So I would end up being screwed because she has failed to teach me what I need to know to survive. And it's not like I've never asked her to teach me to drive, I have, she's just too busy with getting drunk. I don't want to sound like a generic teenage girl, but I can't stand her. This woman legit said I'm racist towards black people because I made a black person joke to her, even though I've made constant white people jokes to her, or Asian people jokes. But no, since she's black, she's going to get offended by the black people joke. And she's one to say I'm racist. She acts like everyone treats her like shit because she's a black woman when in fact it's because she's a delusional cunt. I just wish I could live alone in a cabin away from people or something. Every time I have a conversation with her, she turns it into an argument like she gets off on it or something. I just don't understand. Anyway, whatever. It's not like anyone cares. If I talk about my problems, I'm either an attention seeker or they just ignore me so whatever. I don't care anymore.