Joshaya one shots

Issues

Happy New Years :)

It wasn't something she could describe, a feeling that she could put into words. The way it made her feel when she saw the number flash across her screen. She honestly didn't know why she still had it saved in her phone. Or why she hadn't blocked the number a while ago. She couldn't explain how every time she thought about it, how every time she wanted to block it or erase it, she just couldn't. Like there was still a small part of her, the little girl still buried deep inside of her, that wanted to hold on to it.

It was the first time he had tried to reach out in years. Since the middle school project, really. She remembered how she had written her number down on the letter she sent him, telling him that if he ever wanted to, he could call. He never did. Until now.

Maya bit her lip. She remembered how he had written his number down on a napkin and handed it to her before leaving Topanga's that day. She wanted to tear it up. She wanted to throw it away or even use it to wipe up some kind of mess on the ground because that's how she felt about him. But instead, she pocketed it, and then put the number in her phone later.

"You never know." She had made the excuse to Riley later that day. "I might need it one day." But she knew it was just an excuse, an effort the little girl inside of her was making so that she could at least pretend to be close with her father. Pretend that maybe she didn't hurt or feel pain whenever she thought about him.

At first, she didn't answer. She just watched the number pop across her screen and let it ring, her body not moving an inch. She immediately felt anxiety and pain fill her chest. It's been six years. What could he possibly want now? He left a voicemail, and it took her three days to gain the courage to listen to it.

"Hey Maya, I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I'm going to be in the city later this week for business. Maybe we could grab dinner. I'd love to see you."

She threw her phone across the room, startling Riley who had her nose buried in her text book.

"Peaches?" She asked. But Maya didn't answer. She just grabbed her jacket and left the room, not bothering to pick up her phone and take it with her.

He called two more times the next day. And Maya found it harder and harder to keep resisting. 'Maybe he's changed.' A small voice recited in the back of her head, one that sounded annoyingly like Riley. 'Maybe he's ready to have a relationship with you.'

Maya scoffed. He should have been ready fourteen years ago. She didn't owe him anything. She didn't owe herself anything by answering his phone calls. So she didn't. And she continued to let them go to voicemail.

She was stupid to think Riley wouldn't go through her phone the day she left it in their dorm when she went out for a walk. Or that her best friend wouldn't try and meddle.

He called again. And this time she let a few tears slip as she stared at the number. Watching it ring and her body staying completely frozen.

"Maya." Riley's tone was heartbreaking. And Maya suddenly sobbed.

"Why is he doing this to me." She cried. And Riley held her in her arms. Letting her cry out her frustrations on her shoulder as she held onto her for dear life. Why was she doing this to herself? Why not block him, get it over with. It's not like he hadn't made an effort since middle school. Why now all of a sudden was he trying to come back?

It was the end of the week when he tried to call one more time. Maya was sitting in a field right outside of campus. It was a rare night for New York to have any stars out and a full moon and she wanted to take advantage of it. Her sketchbook was pulled up to her knees and her focus was completely on the midnight sky, drowning out the rest of the world.