Seulki and Hyungwon talk
Seulki nervously squeezed her hands together. Hyungwon would be here any moment and Jin promised to keep everyone clear of her room until they were done talking. She wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go. She definitely had a lot of apologizing and making up to do. She just wasn't sure if Hyungwon was going to give her that chance. He'd given her a lot of chances since they started dating.
She felt her heart drop as the doorbell rang. She cleared her throat and shook her head a little. She opened the door with a wide smile. Hyungwon smiled back at her. That had to be a good sign, she hoped. Though, he didn't hug her as he walked in and took his shoes off and while it sent a pang of hurt to her heart, she understood. He was still angry and hurt with her.
Once behind the privacy of her closed bedroom door, the two sat on her bed. "How've you been?" She asked quietly. The silence was suffocating. "Really?" Hyungwon asked, annoyance evident in his tone. Seulki flinched a little. "I guess I deserved that," she said and Hyungwon only hummed. She sighed. She was just going to rip the band aid off.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I swear I meant too. There was just so much going on when I was singing all the papers and such that I forgot. I really meant to tell you." Hyungwon sighed and his shoulders slumped. "That's not the only reason I'm upset," he said and Seulki gulped back the lump in her throat. She had no right to cry right now. "What else?" She asked.
"The past month you've been so busy and I mean, I have too. It's our job, our career. There's times when we're busy. We've been through that more than once. But this time around it was like you weren't there. I'd call you or message you and you were hearing me but you weren't hearing me. You barely responded to messages and when we did talk or video chat, you were distracted. It's like I've been dating myself the past month. That's how it feels."
Seulki felt her eyes burn with tears and she did all she could to keep them at bay. She couldn't refute anything he said because he was right. She had been distracted during their conversations. The 10 minutes she could have spared to just talk to him she spent checking emails or making sure everything was set for her schedule the next day. Some days she was just so tired she wouldn't respond to his messages and just fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. "Do you even still love me?"
Her hazel eyes snapped up to his brown ones. She was shocked he had even asked her that question. "Of course I do! How could even think I don't?!" Hyungwon only shrugged. "Just haven't felt it lately." Seulki apologized quietly, not sure what more she could say. She knew she had messed up big time and right now, she wasn't quite sure how she could fix it. "What did you do with all my stuff? That was at your apartment?" He asked and she looked over to the box of his things. "There. I meant to give it back to you but—uhm, yeah." Hyungwon only sighed again, standing up and picking up the box.
"I'll be going now." Seulki followed behind him quickly. "Wait!" Her heart was racing with anxiety. This felt like a goodbye, a real goodbye. "W-we're still together, r-right?" She stuttered out, feeling hot tears burn her eyes yet again. Hyungwon looked up at her with equally as teary eyes. He cleared his throat as he slipped his shoes on. "I think maybe we should take a step back for a little bit. Figure out what we both want."
Seulki felt her throat close up and she couldn't stop the tear that fell. "I want you, Hyungwon. You." While he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms, he had to do this for both of them. "Do you? Because I know what I want. I don't think you do yet." With that, he left and Seulki stood there, staring at the spot where he stood seconds ago feeling like half of her world had shattered. His words slapped her in the face. Shouldn't it feel like her whole world was shattered? Not just half?
She gulped, running to her room to grab a jacket. She slipped on her shoes and made her way out of the building. She didn't know where she was walking too but she couldn't be in the dorm right now. It was too suffocating. She need to be able to breathe because right now it felt like she couldn't. She found a bench near the river. She was grateful it was dark and not many people were around. She hadn't grabbed a mask to cover herself with.
She sat down, welcoming the chill of the air as she let her tears finally fall.
