BTS first comeback is fast approaching and Seulki takes some not so safe measures to prepare.
*Possible trigger warning*
Just a few months ago BTS was relishing in their debut. They had been working harder than ever to prepare for their comeback in a few weeks. The boys and Seulki were changing their hair. The stylists had added extensions to hers, making it all just above her butt. She had also decided to dye it a midnight blue. It stood out on her pale skin, but it did make her hazel eyes pop. Most of the boys were hitting the gym, trying to build muscle and abs. They wanted to try and go for a sexier concept. All of their days were a blur of dance practice, vocal practice, lyric writing, recording, re-recording, eat and sleep. It was like a broken record, the same thing every day.
Seulki was prepared for their now busy life and had adjusted fairly quickly. Yes, she was exhausted physically, but she was able to force herself to keep going. She giggled at Jimin leaning against the wall next to her, half asleep. "Jimin-ah," she whispered in his ear and he yelped, jumping slightly. She couldn't hold her laughter, rolling on the floor and clutching her stomach. "Yah! Seulki! Don't disrupt your elders when they're thinking!" She laughed even harder at his failed attempt of an excuse. The stylist called both over to fit them for their clothes for their music video, Jimin still grumbling the whole way about Seulki disrupting the few moments of rest he could have had.
The stylist pulled Seulki behind the curtain to help her change. However, she couldn't quite seem to get the red crop top clipped behind her. Seulki took a deep breath in, making her as small as she could. "Seulki, did you gain weight?" the stylist asked, struggling to make the clips meet. Seulki was shocked, not sure how to answer. Finally, she heard a small click and then another one and mentally sighed in relief. "You should go on a diet, see this?" The stylist gripped some of the fat hanging out of the top. Seulki knew that it was literally only because the shirt was one or two sizes too small, but she couldn't help but give in to her insecurities. "Yes, eonni." She said quietly.
The stylist hummed as she quickly fixed Seulki's hair and she slowly made her way to where the rest of the boys were. She never wanted to go home and bury herself in her blanket more than she did now. She did not feel confident anymore, she felt ashamed. She wanted to cover her body up, she didn't want her fat showing. She slunked to her position, managing a small smile at a worried looking Jimin and Yoongi. They exchanged glances, knowing something had just sucked all of Seulki's energy out. Before they could say anything, the shoot started. It seemed like hours before they were finally done for the day and could go back to the dorm.
When the boys said they were going out for some well-deserved Korean barbeque, Seulki declined. Yes, she was starving as she hadn't eaten anything since 5AM that morning, but she remembered the stylist's words. She swiftly declined, claiming she wasn't feeling all that great and asked their manager to drive her back to the dorm. Once she got back, she curled into a ball under her covers, pulling out her phone and now purposely looking for the hate comments.
She really needs to diet.
Look at her love handles!
She has cheeks like a chipmunk. Aren't idols supposed to have a good body?
What kind of example does she give if she's obese?
Seulki felt the tears running down her cheeks. She KNEW that she wasn't obese. But her insecurities were getting the better of her and she couldn't fight off the negative thoughts. For the next few weeks, Seulki found herself eating less and less and fitting more comfortably into her stage clothes. She hated that she was able to find an excuse to not join the boys on their random night out for dinner days. Every night Seulki would get on the scale in their bathroom to see how much weight she's lost. She was down to being able to survive on a simple granola bar and water.
She didn't feel completely happy as she was now becoming exhausted quicker and experiencing dizzy spells. However, she was happy when the stylist had commented on how her outfits were fitting better or more positive comments from the fans about her weight loss. What she didn't know was that Jimin was silently watching her, noticing the differences. He was worried, for sure but he wasn't quite sure how to approach it. He knew they were all busy as hell, even he could forget or be too tired to eat a meal some days. However, Jimin had noticed the rapid weight loss by his maknae and he wondered if everyone else had noticed.
He noticed her running out of energy quicker than usual, sometimes even an hour into practice but forcing herself to keep going. He noticed that every night she took a little longer in the bathroom than before. What he noticed most though was that Seulki's once animated, bright hazel eyes now seemed dull and sad. She hasn't been smiling much or as big and had become quieter than usual. He sighed once the director called for a break in their shooting, stealthily watching Seulki slowly make her way over the waiting room. What he didn't notice was how off balance she was feeling and by the time he noticed her collapsing to the ground, there was a sickening thud as her head hit the tiled floor.
