Missing You

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Yoongi and Namjoon invite Seulki out for lunch

Seulki smiled at herself in the mirror as she finished applying her cherry red lipstick. She was becoming more and more fond of the color against her pale skin. Namjoon had asked her to go out for a meal with him and Yoongi after their shoot the other day and Seulki happily agreed. She was getting dolled up because it had been quite a while since they were able to go out for a meal together.

She heard her bell ring and she quickly grabbed her jacket and slipped her shoes on. "Oppa!" She said happily as she stepped out and Namjoon smiled back at her. "Yoongi's in the car. He told me to tell you five minutes or he's going without you." She let out a snort as she linked arms with her leader and let him lead the way down to the car. "Sounds like someone is a little hangry." She mumbled and Namjoon laughed.

"He was up late last night at the studio. You usually—never mind." Namjoon said, biting his cheek and Seulki raised a brow. "I usually what?" She asked and Namjoon sighed. "You're usually the one that can get him to come home. Or at least bring him food so he's not as grumpy the next day. He doesn't listen to us." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and Seulki sighed. Yoongi listened to everyone just fine, granted that she knew he had a soft spot for her, he always listened. Just sometimes didn't do.

"I'll have a talk with him when we get in the car." She said and Namjoon smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. It had been a while since he saw Seulki scold them for overworking and not taking care of themselves. "Yoongi oppa!" She scolded as she got in the backseat of the car. He glanced at her through the mirror, offering a grunt and she scoffed. Namjoon got in the passengers seat.

"Why did you not go home last night?!" She chided and Yoongi groaned. "Namjoon-ah. Why'd you tell her?" He said as he pulled away to their destination. Namjoon shrugged and Seulki rolled her eyes. "I'm gone for two weeks and you're already falling apart. I can't believe this. You better go straight back to the dorm after this. I mean it." He offered another grunt but she knew he would listen. She could tell how tired he was.

They pulled up at Seulki's favorite restaurant and she clapped her hands excitedly, going in and slipping into her favorite booth. It was a small, family-owned place they frequented a lot when they were trainees and she loved the memories they had made there. They ordered their usual, Seulki sipping on her coke as they waited for the food. "So," Yoongi said, "Taehyung said he went over to yours the other day."

She snapped her hazel eyes to him and nodded sharply. "He did. But we didn't talk much. We had to leave for the shoot." Yoongi hummed, playing with the straw in his drink. "Did you guys at least talk a little?" Namjoon asked, looking hopeful but that quickly died when Seulki shook her head. "Nope. Honestly, it's not just a conversation between me and him that needs to happen. We all need to talk." Namjoon had switched to leader mode and Seulki could practically see the gears turning in his head to make it happen quickly.

She reached over and patted his hand. "It'll happen when it can, Namjoon. I don't want it to be rushed." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "What is it we all need to talk about?" Yoongi asked, feeling a little annoyed. "He's the one that you argued with." Seulki pressed her lips together. Did they really not understand? She knew Namjoon did; he always could read the underlying issues. It was amazing how his brain worked and she had to admit she was sometimes jealous of it.

"That's true. But, when he said—" she bit her lip, "—when he insinuated it was my fault for other things, none of you said anything. And that hurt more than us fighting." She felt her mood drop a little, but tried to stay positive. Yoongi clenched his jaw. "You know we don't think that, S. We never did." He said quietly and she offered a weak smile. "Maybe not outwardly. But someone would have said something when he said it if you all didn't feel that way on some level." She hated that she was bad at explaining this.

Yoongi shifted in his seat, opening his mouth to say something when the food arrived. Namjoon thanked the worker with a stressed smile and they all ate quietly for a few minutes. Seulki took another sip of her coke before speaking again. "I know that he didn't mean to hurt me, or to say it. But the fact is, he did. And no one said anything to say he was wrong about that part." The two boys didn't say anything, but were listening intently.

"Sure, some of it may have partly been my fault. I could have chosen to eat, I could have chosen to ask for help earlier. But what she said—it hit me hard. We were best friends before I joined you all. And you all know I've never been the best at making friends. I just didn't—I didn't expect that other people might feel the same way I did." Yoongi raised a brow. "What do you mean?"

She sighed, placing her chopsticks down. "Tae-ssi wasn't wrong when he said that a lot of it was for me to feel something. That's true. I was feeling hurt and lost and I wanted to feel something else besides those feelings. But—I didn't imagine that you all were seeing the same thing I was seeing. Feeling the same feelings about me that I was feeling towards myself. And that hurt. On some level, you all agreed with him. And that's okay, I've given you nothing else to disprove that. It just—hurt. It still does. That's why—that's why I've been keeping to myself."

Yoongi sighed, reaching under the table to pat her knee. "We're sorry, Seulki. We really are. But I can guarantee you that just because we were seeing what you thought about yourself doesn't mean we had the same feelings that you had. We were all just shocked that it even came out in the first place." Namjoon sighed, sinking down into the booth. "I should have stopped it sooner. I'm sorry. But please, Seulki—please—we don't feel that way. We never have." She felt the lump in her throat and she cleared it. She wasn't going to cry here. Her makeup looked far to pretty to ruin with tear tracks.

"Let me talk to the others, explain it to them. Then—maybe we can talk? All of us? As a group? Because we really miss having you at the dorm." Namjoon said and she nodded. "That's fine. And I miss you all too. But like I said, my door is always open." She offered a smile and Yoongi sighed, standing up and placing money on the table. "Let's go." He said, walking out without another word. Seulki and Namjoon shared a look but Namjoon just shrugged as they made their way back to the car.

"We're going to watch movies and do whatever we used to do when we were trainees. At your place since your door is open." Yoongi said as they slid into the car. Seulki smiled, laughing a little as she patted his shoulder. "That's fine. At least I know that you'll definitely be going back to the dorm tonight." Yoongi glanced at her through the mirror again and she smirked.

"I have a lot of soju that's been waiting to be drunk."

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