Seulki talks to Hyungwon about their relationship
Seulki clamped her hands together and fidgeted with her skirt. She had finally mustered up the courage to message Hyungwon and ask him if they could talk. Honestly, she hadn't expected him to answer her. Let alone actually want to talk to her right now. But he had replied in only a few minutes and seemed more than willing to meet up with her.
Seulki had made sure the dorm was going to be empty today for a few hours. Talking without interruptions or fear of someone eavesdropping was what she needed and what Hyungwon deserved. Though, he also lived with six other people so it's not like it something that would surprise him.
She jumped a little as she heard a knock on the door and just stared at it for a moment. She had told herself she was ready for this. That she could do this but now she wasn't sure. She loved Hyungwon, she really did. Seeing him or even the thought of seeing him seemed to tear her heart in two.
There was another knock at the door, snapping her out of her panic. Clearing her throat, she walked and opened the door. Offering up the best smile she could to the tall boy. "Hey! Sorry, I didn't hear you knocking at first," she breathed. Hyungwon smiled down at her and chuckled. "That's alright. I'm glad you asked me over."
She stepped aside so he could come in and raised a brow. "Oh?"
He nodded. "I really wanted to talk to you. See how you were doing. But I didn't know if that would be weird or awkward or something."
The tips of his ears flushed red and Seulki smiled adoringly at him. Internally chastising herself for ruining the relationship with literally one of the most perfect men she'd ever met. "It's alright," she said, "I thought the same thing before I finally wound up the courage."
He laughed a little, following behind her to her bedroom. "No one's here," she said, shutting her door, "But I'm not quite sure when they're coming back and just want privacy. As much as we can." He hummed in response, not hesitating to lean himself against her pillows.
"I really need you to tell me where you got these," he pointed at the pillows behind him, "They're so comfy. I need them." She giggled, shaking her head and sitting at the end of the bed. "I'll make sure you get the link."
There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before Hyungwon cleared his throat. "So, you said you wanted to talk?" Seulki nodded, sitting up a little straighter.
"Yeah. About us. If that's—uhm—okay?" He nodded without hesitation.
"Well," Seulki chewed on her bottom lip, thinking where to start. "I want to start with saying I'm sorry. I pushed you away the last few months of us being together. And that wasn't fair to you. And I completely and utterly forgot to tell you that I was planning on moving back to the dorm. That wasn't right."
Hyungwon didn't say anything, keeping his expression neutral. He wanted her to finish what she needed to say before he spoke.
"I miss you," her voice was a little quieter now and she looked down to her knees, "A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. You deserve better than what I gave you. And I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you. I want to be better and I'm trying to be. It's a work in progress. I do miss you though. And I still love you. And now I'm rambling."
She bit down on her tongue as Hyungwon laughed at her. "You ramble when you're nervous," he commented and she narrowed her eyes. Right now was not the time to point out her little quirks.
"How are you?" He asked and that threw Seulki off. Did he not miss her? She wouldn't blame him for not. But it seemed everything she had said he hadn't even listened to. "I—uhm—okay?" Hyungwon frowned and rolled his eyes. "And the truth?"
She shrugged. "I really don' t know if I'm being honest." There was a hint of smile on his face. "Some days I feel fine, some days I feel sad and frustrated. I think it's just a mix of a lot right now and I'm still processing through those. So, I don't know."
"You're making progress," Hyungwon said with a smile. Seulki quirked a brow, still confused. "Sorry?" He chuckled and playfully rolled his eyes.
"Choi Seulki a month ago would have told me that she was fine and everything was going great." Her mouth formed an 'o' shape as it started to make sense. "You're right. I would have."
"I know it's not. . .easy for either of us. But I know it's hard for just as much as it's hard for me." He continued, eyes averting to the comforter. "So, I want to make sure you're okay too. Or at least trying to be. So, thank you, for being honest."
Seulki gave him a sheepish smile. Hyungwon's brown orbs met her hazel ones.
"I've missed you too, you know."
