Seulki talks with Hyungwon
Seulki fiddled with her hands as she finished making the two cups of tea. Hyungwon had arrived a few minutes ago and she was nervous. She hated herself for how she had treated him and she hated more that he was currently acting as if nothing happened. "What's on your mind, beautiful?" She jumped a little as he wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss to her temple.
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking how I have to make up for how much of a shitty girlfriend I was." She said and he frowned, turning her around to face him. "What do you mean?" She sighed, placing her hands on his chest and gently pushing him back. She grabbed the cups of tea and nodded her head towards the couch for him to follow.
They sat down and she crossed her legs, biting her lip and thinking how to start. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you. I didn't take your feelings and opinions into account on us moving in together and that was wrong of me. And I shouldn't have ghosted you for a whole week. Can you ever forgive me?" She asked and he smiled gently at her. "It's fine, jagiya. Things happen and I was being a little selfish myself." She shook her head.
"No, you weren't. You were being honest with me and I shouldn't have gotten mad." He smiled again, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers. "Thank you. But I'm not mad at you and I understand." She smiled, scooting closer to him. "I understand too, now. And I'll wait until you're ready. And if you're never ready, that's okay too." He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her even closer. "I will be ready one day, just not right now." She nodded her head and they sat in silence.
She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders a little. Things were getting back on track and she was owning up to her actions. She couldn't be more grateful for how understanding Hyungwon has been with her, through everything. "Why did you come home?" He asked and she raised a brow. "What do you mean?"
"Whenever you have a late schedule you usually stay at the dorm. Don't tell me you came here just for this. I'll leave for you ruining your rest time." She laughed, shaking her head. "This was part of the reason, but not entirely. I needed to apologize and that's easier than when 7 boys are around." He hummed, waiting for her to continue. "What's the other reason?" He asked and she frowned.
"Me and Tae got into a fight. I've been putting some space between us. I think we all need it." He looked down at her, a little surprised. The Seulki he first met would have hated to put distance between her and anyone. Too afraid that she'd be left alone and forgotten. Plus, just like his own group, they always had disagreements and arguments. He couldn't fathom how it could have gotten so bad she had made a point to put distance between anyone, especially the 7 men she considered more than just family.
"What happened?" She sat up, leaning against the back of the couch and closing her eyes. The exhaustion of the situation was finally hitting her. "He called me out on somethings—which needed to happen. But he threw something in my face that he shouldn't have. And no one disagreed." Hyungwon didn't say anything, the gears in his mind turning to try and understand the situation. "I need more than that, love. I can't help without all the details."
She smiled softly at him but shook her head again. "It's not something you can help, oppa." He hummed, still confused but he grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together again. "But I can listen." She looked at him and her heart swelled with the emotions she was feeling right now. She hadn't realized how lonely she actually was until this moment. She hadn't spoken with anyone about what happened between her and the boys and had been just staying here on her own.
"He—I know he didn't mean too—but he threw my eating thing in my face. And what happened with my friend. He called me and empty tin can." She snorted, more to herself than anything. "He said I did what I did to feel something because I feel next to nothing." She felt tears well up in the corners of her eyes but she refused to cry. She hadn't cried about it—yet—and she wasn't about to start now.
She heard Hyungwon's breath hitch. "No one said anything?" She shrugged. "They tried to step in before he finished talking. But I made him finish. And no one said anything. Still, none of them have disagreed. And I get it—to an extent. I've been a selfish brat, maybe even a diva. But I never for a second thought that they all thought I was that cold. That I did something like that for that reason."
Hyungwon squeezed her hand as he heard her voice drop lower and smaller. She was right; he couldn't help with this. Taehyung had dropped to a new low in his opinion and while he knew that he didn't mean it, it was still something that anyone with a brain would know would have an effect on her. And the fact that not one of them had stepped in to refute it only made him angry.
"Look at me, jagiya." She turned towards him with a lazy smile and his gaze faltered a little. He noticed right now just how exhausted she looked. The bags under her eyes were large and slightly dark. Her eyes screamed drained and exhausted and her body was slightly limp as if she just needed to slump over and sleep for a few hours. "You are not a tin can. You apologizing to me, this right now and the way you're feeling about this right now—that proves you're not a tin can."
"You just feel your emotions a little more intensely than others. And that's okay! But you don't you dare—ever—let someone tell you that it's your fault for what happened a few months ago."
She offered him a tired smile and shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe it is. Karma for being such a bitch." She sighed quietly and Hyungwon didn't think he was supposed to hear that, but he did. His heart broke for her. This was the woman that he had strong feelings for; the woman that he loved. And it seemed like once she started to grasp how to love herself, something came and stopped that from happening. She looked tired though and he knew this conversation needed to wait until she was feeling more energized.
"C'mon, princess. Let's go to bed." He stood up, gently tugging her up with him and lead the way to her bedroom. She climbed under the covers and he pulled his shirt off, slipping into the bed next to her. She latched herself on to him and snuggled into his side. He let his fingers run through her hair as she closed his eyes. "I love you, Won-ie. Always." She murmured and he smiled.
"I love you too, S."
