Lord of the Rings/ The Hobbit One Shots and Imagines

Bard- Idiot (c)

You were staring. You didn't mean to, but someone so handsome was a rare sight and you just wanted to see the beauty he was. Just being stood there, even if he was pointing an arrow at your friend, you were frozen by his beauty.

As he lowered his bow one of your dwarven companion elbowed your side gaining your attention, but it took a moment for your eyes to be dragged from looking at the human stood in front of you.

"Lass you're drooling," Bofur laughed wiping his thumb below your lip removing the fallen saliva.

"Oh," you whispered.

"Were you planning on killing him with kisses?" he chuckled.

You frowned at the dwarf with the hat.

"Be quiet Bofur. I haven't seen another human in a while, especially one that attractive. And he said his wife is dead, and didn't mention a current partner," you whispered.

"You are going to pursue him?" he asked, "You sure lass?"

"Aye. But I look like hell, and smell like arse," you sighed, "And he's so perfect."

The dwarf laughed at your dreamy look.

The man talked with some of the dwarves before they all climbed back into their barrels.

"Do I need to get into a barrel?" You asked the man, "I am human after all, I won't bring suspicion."

He turned to look at you and paused.

"That's fine love, you can stay on the barge," he stated, "you part of their company?"

"That I am. Only female and only human of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield," you grinned.

He nodded before he let the rest of them get in the barrels and then threw fish over them, much to their dismay.

Soon enough we were in Laketown and the man lead me into his home as he spoke to his three children.

"Tilda, Sigrid this is..." he paused.

"Y/N," you smiled.

"Y/N," he repeated, "We are going to have some guests for a short while, could you help her clean up," he said to them, "I am Bard by the way."

The two girls lead you off and by the time you came back to the main part of Bard's home all of the dwarves and Bilbo were there. They were sat down eating.

Bofur and Fili called you over. You sat down opposite Bofur, next to the blond.

They pushed food in front of you and you instantly began to eat. You very rarely got a lot of food on your travels due to only being able to eat what you had found, but from the looks of the food on the table you had all emptied out Bard's pantry.

As you took another mouthful of food Bard looked over to you making you stop breathing. You had never felt this way about someone before. You may not have known him but his appearance enticed you.

Quickly you noticed you had to breathe, and the food lodged in your throat choking you. You let out a loud cough gaining everyone's attention. Fili patted your back with a bit of force until the food dislodged flying out of your mouth hitting the man you were attracted to.

The coughing continued for a moment.

"I am so sorry," you exclaimed, cheeks becoming flushed.

Using a cloth Bard cleaned off what you spat at him whilst telling you it was fine.

Everyone went back to their conversations.

"You okay?" Fili questioned.

"Yeah, thanks," you whispered as your cheeks stayed aflame.

It was clear the blond didn't believe you, as he gave a concerned look to Bofur.

"She's in love," he chuckled, "She has an eye on the human."

Fili laughed.

"Sure you don't want a strapping dwarf?" he laughed.

"I've seen you in your skivvies, heard your snoring, there is nothing left for the imagination," you frowned, "But after spitting at Bard, I don't think I have a chance there, why can't I just be elegant and what he would look for, instead I choke on my food and end up spitting it at him. I'm an idiot."

~*~

Written by Charlotte.