Lord of the Rings/ The Hobbit One Shots and Imagines

Kili- Depression (c)

His concerned face only made your tears more frequent. You couldn't help it. You couldn't help how you felt, and there was nothing he could do to make it all better, and you knew if you told him that it would make it worse.

He did not know about it. He didn't know about it in general, let alone your suffering. You had to tell him, and today you chose it to be that day.

"Please tell me what is wrong my love," Your fiancé said with concern laced in his words.

You were not from Middle Earth. Some time ago you ended up here, and there was no way of returning to your world, so you started a life there. You fell in love and soon you were to be married, but there were still some things he did not know about you.

"I am sick. I have an illness," You whispered.

"Why did you not tell me? We must get you to a healer at once," Kili exclaimed.

"Not like that. I am not physically ill. I am mentally ill. I am not certain whether in this world you are even susceptible to such illnesses, or whether it is more of a taboo than it is in my world to discuss these illnesses," You explained.

He furrowed his eyebrows. Throughout your time in Middle Earth you had never heard of anyone discussing any form of mental illness. You were unsure whether they even had them or if the society here also frowned upon the discussion of them. Either way, you needed to tell your fiancé about what you were experiencing.

"I do not understand."

"I did not think you would," You sighed, "In my home land we called what I have depression. In the simplest terms it is like a prolonged and deepened sadness. That is a very vague description of it though. Mainly it leads to feeling hopeless and worthless. It is hard to be happy a lot of the time. It can also make you feel emotionally numb. It isn't pleasant, and I have experienced it for a few years. Since I had been here, it had been getting better, but it has been getting worse recently. I do not know what to do about it. There aren't really any options set in place here. But I felt as though you deserved to know. I understand if this changes your perception of me."

His expression softened, and without a second of doubt he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his lips to your temple.

"I love you. Why did you not tell me? This does not seem as though it is something that will get better in keeping it to yourself," he said softly.

"I did not know how you would think of me. In my world mental illness is something very few people comfortably discuss, and some people are very judgemental about it. I didn't want to lose you because of it," You whispered, "We had therapists that would be able to talk through your feelings and set in place types of therapies for those that experienced things like depression. Without that, I am not sure what to do about it. But I need you to help me. You may not be able to actually do anything, but just having you there to support me is more than I could ever ask for."

He pulled away, smiling at you. He leaned in pressing his lips to your cheek.

"Y/N. I am not going anywhere. We are going to get through this. I will do anything to see you happy."

~*~

Written by Charlotte.