Madferit: The Novel

Chapter 121

    "Fuck's sake, Rupe!" Noel's voice carried all the way into the house from the garage.

    I stopped drying the fork in my hand, set the dish towel down on the counter, and headed out where he was. I stood quietly by the door watching everything transpire.

    "Why d'ya have to go all over the fuckin' floor?" Noel asked Rupert as he swept a mix of sawdust and sheep manure into a pile. "Why can't ya just pick one spot to use as a bog? That corner there, yeah?" He pointed at the back right one of Rupert's pen. "Looks like the perfect place for a piss and a shit. Ya don't see me pissin' and shittin' all over the gaff, d'yer? If I did that Addie'd think I'd gone completely mental but- Ee-arr! Listen, right? I've half a dozen toilets to choose from in there and I've used 'em all at least once but I've still got me preferences. And I reckon you'd make lookin' after ya well easier if you...oh for fuck's sake! I'm gonna have to fuckin' hose this down now! Jesus Christ! Ya ungrateful fuckin'..." He propped the broom against the wall and trudged over by the door leading out to the backyard. "Where the fuck's that hose gone?"

    "We brought it inside so it wouldn't freeze." I reminded him.

    He turned around staring at me in shocked confusion. "Addie, you're not to be out here. You're not to be around our Rupe with the ammonia and that-"

    "What? You don't think there's gonna be ammonia and that with our Grace?"

    "No, I didn't say that but I can guarantee it won't be at the same caliber as with him!" He pointed at Rupert. "At least our Grace'll have manners."

    "Rupert has manners." I defended.

    "No, he doesn't!" He argued. "He burps and farts with no regard for anyone but himself!"

    "So, do you!"

    "Yeah but I still say excuse me afterwards!"

    "No, you don't! You brag about half of them!"

    "Still though, the other half I'm bein' polite!"

    I rolled my eyes. "Mmhmm."

    He smirked. "Y'know, in some cultures that's considered a compliment when the food's good."

    "Yeah well not in this one." I pointed out. "You gonna hose this down or what?" I gazed down at the floor.

    "Course I am. Who else will?" He replied. "Don't see you jumpin' at the opportunity."

    "That's 'cuz you won't let me!"

    He wouldn't let me get the hose either. But I still had to show him where it was since he couldn't remember where we moved it for winter storage.

    To protect the cement from Rupert's potential messes, we put rubber mats down on his section of the garage floor. This also gave him some extra cushion underneath his sawdust which I'm sure he appreciated.

    Noel screwed the hose onto the spigot then turned the water on.

    "Hang on." I said holding my hand up to stop him before he began spraying the mats.

    "What?" He asked curiously.

    "If you hose these down now they're gonna be hard to dry off. His sawdust is gonna get soaked and he might end up with foot rot or something-"

    "Well what else would you like me to do? It bloody stinks in here! And this, this puddle right here." He shoved his finger at the pool gathered in the middle of the mat he was standing on. "Is nothin' but piss! What d'ya propose I do with it?"