Madferit: The Novel

Chapter 137

"I don't see the point in buyin' all this shite, Adds." Noel remarked as I placed another item off the shelf into the cart. "It'll be spoiled before we get back."

"No, it won't. The dry goods'll be fine." I assured him crossing it off my shopping list. I lowered the piece of paper, stepped forward down the aisle, and reached for the next thing I needed...but it was too far out of my reach. "Would you get that for me please?"

"Nope." He shook his head.

I rolled my eyes. "Please?"

"Did your last slave die off?"

"No, but-"

"If I help you what's in it for me?" He asked gripping the push bar on the cart.

"You'll get fed. That's payment enough." I told him.

He tutted then let go of the cart and came over where I was. He reached up, grabbed the box, and tossed it in with the other groceries. "The things I do for you...I'm gonna get a knighthood, I am. Just you wait and see."

I flattened my lips. "Mmhmm-"

"Americans can't get knighthoods. Or become dames. That's a British thing, yeah? And ya only get one when you've made a grand contribution to society like helpin' your missus do the grocery shoppin' 'cuz apparently she can't do it herself."

"Well the husband could always do it without her. And cook for himself and do all the other things she's made dead easy for him."

"Nope. Not gonna happen." He quipped. "That's the woman's job. The man's job is to look after the woman-"

"And the woman's job is to look after the man." I returned.

"Finally, summat we can agree on!" He beamed raising his hands in the air. "It only took us four fuckin' years but that's 'cuz you've been slowin' us down this whole time anyway-"

"Right." I nodded in sarcasm walking on. "Push the cart for me please."

"Well, since you said please..." He went back and got it then pushed it along beside me.

Contrary to Noel's belief, I was being cautious in what I was buying. We were scheduled to leave for New York in a few days so we didn't need to stock up on too much at home. But stuff in the cupboards wouldn't spoil too soon so it was fine to refill them. We finished getting what we needed then headed for the checkout.

Traffic of people's shopping carts filled with various amounts of groceries jammed up every line. We had no choice but to wait our turn so I occupied my time scanning the magazines on the shelf...until one headline grabbed all my attention.

Definitely Baby: It's a...BOY!

"Oh, my g-"

"Y'know, we're gonna need chewin' gum for the flight." Noel leapt in front of the magazine rack blocking me from ogling at the cover picture. "Ya don't want our ears poppin' d'yer?"

"Nope. Guess not." I agreed.

"Definitely not! We'll have this kind then please." He handed me a pack.

"'Kay." I took it from him and tossed it in the cart.

After we were done at the store, we went home, put the groceries away, and headed out to get the mail. I suppose we could've saved time and stopped and got it on our way in but we preferred the walk and felt Penny and Rupert needed the exercise.