Madferit: The Novel

Chapter 141

            "Adds?" Noel murmured nudging my shoulder and making me gasp awake. "Addie, wake up, will ya? Please? Addie, please wake up! Pl-"

            "What?!" I groaned scrunching my eyes even more closed.

            "I've summ't say'ya. So please wake up so we can talk about it-"

            "We don't frickin' talk about nothin'! We just yell and scream and cuss at each other and I'm really not arsed for that today!"

            "I promise I won't yell! Or scream or cuss or anythin'! Just hear me out-"

            "What the heck is it that you wanna say?"

            "I'm, erm, I'm sorry for the way I acted on Thanksgivin'. And the day after that. Black Friday I believe is what you call it."

            "'Kay." I adjusted my head on the pillows scooting the rest of my body away from him.

            The bed sunk a bit as he perked up.

            "Is that all you're gonna say?" He asked worriedly.

            "What else is there for me to say?" I replied. "You said you're sorry and once I say okay then you'll probably say you love me. Then a few minutes later I'll piss you off again somehow and you'll tell me to fuck off. It's a never-ending saga, Noel, if you couldn't already tell that by now."

            "Well I'd like it to end. And I know you would too."

            I snorted. "Just stop it, Noel!" I turned my head away from him.

            He whimpered softly. "You're not gonna, erm...you're not gonna leave me are ya, Adds? Adds? Addie, please tell me you're not gonna leave! I know you're homesick and Ohio's been callin' your name but please just wait 'til Christmas. And the spring on the tour. And then we can-"

            "I love how you're makin' this so convenient for you. It doesn't have anything to do with me even though I'm the one from Ohio-"

            "Yes, it does! You work for me-"

            "I work for Marcus." I corrected him. "And that plus the animals are the only things keeping me here."

            "Ya don't mean that!" He returned. "There's gotta be...Addie, there's gotta be more reason for ya to stay here than th-"

            "What? Like my marriage?"

            "Yeah."

            "My marriage is a sham. Ain't you read the papers?"

            "Addie!"

            "Don't Addie me, Noel!" I exclaimed sitting straight up. "You may think you're the only one who's gotten hurt in this relationship but we both know that ain't true! Every time you've cut me down and told me to fuck off and acted like every bad thing that's happened between us is all my fault...I told you I was sorry for everything I've done! I'm trying to move on and not dwell on the past like you supposedly want us to do but then you turn everything around and bring it all back up again and stall us out with your mopin' and complainin' and negativity over every fuckin' thing we-"

            "And I'm sorry about all that!" He shouted. "But I can't help it 'cuz I'm...I'm..."

            "Upset?"

            He nodded. "I am, yeah."

            "Say you're upset then."

            "I'm fuckin' upset! I'm angry! I'm fucked off! I'm j-...I want a family, Addie. Me own family. Not somebody else's kids for us to look after for a day or the weekend. I've wanted kids since we...I'm tired of goin' on havin' nothin' to keep us grounded."