Closer to the Ground (Kidge One Shots)

Chapter 1: The Letter

#ToAllTheBoys

Pidge laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She needed to just calm down and relax. Her cheeks were flushed and her heart beating out of her chest. She had such a big crush on Keith, she didn't know what to do with herself. She was the best actor out of all the paladins, being the only one who had gone undercover. And she that she could act all she wanted, but this crush was not going away anytime soon.

Pidge got up and went to her lab and did the only thing she knew how to do in these situations. Write a letter to Keith that he would never see.

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Dear Keith,

      I know we have never talked. We have never had a bonding moment. We have never been social, but even so, I notice everything about you. How you act cold and mean, but fear is behind your eyes. How you hate Lance but somehow can still trust him at the right moments. How you want to leave, but you keep coming back.

     I know that you train so you can have your special 'thing', a place on the team. I know that you aren't as rash as you seem and that every outburst is you letting fear and stress go.

     And I know that I seem like a creep right now, but I can't help notice the little things. I over analyze everything even people.

    Like how I have a pretty good idea that if or when you read this letter, you will avoid me. That we will become even farther apart than we already are. But I don't care.

   I want you to know that you are not alone, that you are worth it. That no matter how at odds you are with yourself, that someone loves you for who you are. I love you for who you are. I have played a different person so many times that I have learned to see past the mask that people wear. That you wear.

     You will never be like Shiro. No one can. I don't want you to be like him. You might not have been the best leader at first, but wasn't that because Shiro gave the job to you, then subtly took it away? I know that you might not want to admit it, but you are perfect as you are. 

    All the mistakes. All of the trust. All of the kindness you hide underneath. Keith, you may seem like an angry person, but inside, you care too much. I too have forgotten that feelings exist. I know how it feels to hurt the ones you care about without meaning too. I get it. I still love you.

    Look I don't know if you will ever read this. I don't know if I will give it to you. If you will find it yourself, or after my death. Maybe you won't ever see it. Maybe the next paladins will find it. Maybe they won't. Maybe we are the last paladins. The point is I don't know if you will ever know how much I care for you. How much I yearn to make you feel at home for once in your life. How much I desperately want you to feel loved. I don't know if you feel the same if you will throw this in the trash the moment you see this, or if this is the last you hear of me.

    I just want you to know, I love you. I love every perfection, every flaw. I love the hidden meanings in your words. I love you so much, Keith. I love you.

                                                                    Katie 'Pidge' Gunderson, Green paladin

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Pidge leaned back in her chair and sighed. She put down her pen and rubbed her eyes, looking at the Green lion towering over her.

"You don't know how much that helped," Pidge said to Green. "He will never find out, and I will have an easier time acting like I don't have a crush on him. If he ever found out, and he didn't like me, it could hurt him that he'd have to reject me, and the last thing I need is for him to hurt more,"

Pidge stood up and picked up the letter, folding it and putting it into an envelop. She walked over to her toolbox. She opened it all the way, letting the lid fall.  She turned it so the lid was facing her, then pulled a tab on the flat underside of the lid. She opened it all the way to reveal a secret compartment filled with different letters to Keith. She put the most recent one in the lid, then closed it all up.