Fear

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Alastor x Female Reader

Requested by: Blumelap

Your Perspective

My life has been pretty rough. The last relationship I had was when I was alive. He was terrible. He would scream and yell at me for the smallest things. It was worse when he was drunk. He would beat me and throw things everywhere screaming. He was even the cause of my death. I have never been the same since. I am terrified of people yelling and fighting. Men scare me to no end. Hell doesn't make things any better. It's filled with terrible men. The most horrid and disgusting men. I hide away at the hotel. I don't talk to Husk or Alastor that much. Angel isn't so bad. But even then I barely speak to him too. That's why I'm here right now debating whether or not I should trust Alastor. He just confessed his love to me and is reassuring me that he will never hurt me. Promising he won't. He must have heard my story from Charlie. He seemed so genuine and gentle as he held my hands begging me to be with him. I don't know what he sees in me. But I do believe him. I have never heard of him harming women. He avoids it. I reluctantly accept his confession and tell him I do indeed feel the same way. I hate it when I fall for someone. I could never trust them enough to be with them.

Months Later

We...we are fighting. I'm crying hysterically. We are both screaming and yelling at each other. I have never been more afraid in my entire existence. I know he's powerful. But he hasn't laid a figure on me. But it still hurts. He won't calm down. I tried and tried but he seemed to have a lot of pent-up anger, and now he was letting it out on this fight. On me. He was ranting angrily, getting closer and closer as I backed up. He was staring me down. He grabbed my shoulders and all I could feel was...fear. He slammed me into the wall as I screamed in fear, terrified he was going to beat me like my ex. But he didn't. He stopped for a moment. Processing the situation. I breathed heavily looking at him in anticipation. He stopped smiling...had I done something wrong? Was he going to hurt me more? But no. He began to weep. Looking at me like he committed some horrible crime. He spoke.

"I-i-I'm so so s-sorry."

I began to cry harder. He had broken his promise. He spoke again through sobs and sniffles.

"I won't d-do it again. I swear. We were fighting over something stupid anyways. You were right. Let's just go to bed and s-sleep on it."

He seemed so desperate. I just wanted him to let me go. I shrank in his grasp and then he held me. Saying he was sorry over and over.

"Please let go of me, Alastor."

He tensed, but let go anyway. He stepped back, looking at me as if he were afraid of what would happen next. I just looked at him and shook my head no. He panicked dropping to his knees, begging through sobs. He was hyperventilating.

"No! Please! I love you, sweetheart! I won't do it again! Please, my love! I beg you! I will do anything. I am sorry. I was just holding in so much anger! I didn't want to let it out on you! But it was just so much. My anger took over and I shouldn't have let it. I'm so so sorry."

He breathed and let out loud heavy sobs. He was indeed in love with me. I know he wouldn't just do this for anybody. He began to kiss my feet and bowing down to me as if to worship me. It hit me. I deserve to be worshiped. Not treated so horribly. I shouldn't be with a man who lost control of his anger! But... Maybe this is a one-time thing. Everyone makes their mistakes. I will give him a second chance. But I can barely look at him. I'm still afraid. What if this is a facade and he will do it again and I will be so naive to keep giving him chances. But there is no way this is an act. You can't make such desperation in your eyes. But I need time.

"Alastor."

He stopped worshiping me and looked at me waiting for my response.

"I need time Alastor..."

He stood up quickly causing me to flinch and back into the wall more. He started treating me like a frightened animal and apologized for moving so quickly. He spoke.

"I will give you your time my love. Just know that I love you with all my dark heart."

His voice was still shaky. I moved past him cautiously. I went to our bedroom and packed some things to stay at the hotel. I hope this time will give me my answer.

A Month Later

I have stayed in a room that Charlie gave me. I haven't stepped foot out of the room. Nifty would bring me food. I haven't seen Alastor in a month. Everyone is asking me why I haven't come out and why Alastor seems so upset. Alastor and I have never given an answer. And we never will. It's none of their business. But I have my answer. I have thought about it. I know Alastor has never done that to women before. I know he knows he messed up. More like fucked up. And I know he has learned from his mistake. He won't do it again. At least it would make sense for him not to. So I will give him a second chance. If he breaks it, I'm done with him.

...

Alastor and I sat on the couch in our home. I flagged Alastor down and made him take us home. We sat a little awkwardly. But I sucked it up and looked at him.

"Alastor. I thought about it a lot. And.."

He stared in great anticipation.

"I have decided to give you another chance-"

Before I could say more he engulfed me into a hug and cried. I began to cry too. We sat there for a moment swaying in each other's arms crying it out. I still need to get used to Alastor again. I'm sure any sudden movements will freak me out from him.

We calmed down and looked into the eyes of each other. But he couldn't seem to handle it as he began crying again saying things like "I dont deserve this" and "I have failed at protecting mother natures greatest creation". I think he meant protecting women. He was truly a gentleman. But whether he deserved it or not, I didn't care. I love him.

...

And he never hurt me again.

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